Why couples shouldn't take their celebrity hall pass seriously
Sure, it's nice to daydream about Chris Hemsworth sidling toward you in a luxurious silk robe — but would you actually cheat with him if given the chance?
That's the thinking behind what's known as a celebrity clause, which affords couples the chance to cheat with a specified celebrity if the opportunity arises. "The celebrity clause operates as a one-time pass, in that it doesn't allow for continuous sexual interaction," says Dr. Darren Moore, LMFT, of Mercer University School of Medicine. "Allegedly, the spouse will not become jealous or view it as a violation of the relationship, as they recognize the dalliance as a once in a lifetime thing."
There's a major flaw in the celebrity clause, however, and it isn't just the inherent risk of introducing cheating into a relationship. "In 2015, you can bet that the celebrity clause exists within some relationships," explains Moore. "But what are the odds that you will meet a celebrity and that they would want to be involved with you?" (I mean, you're lovely. But come on.)
For that reason, Moore is most interested in the celebrity clause as a component of a couple's use of fantasy in their sex lives. He explains that cheating clauses — which include the semi-outlandish celebrity clause and more plausible scenarios — usually arise when couples share their sexual ideas and fantasies with one another.
The fantasies may emerge as role play in the bedroom, or in a mutual understanding that cheating is allowed. Moore states that role play, and even cheating clauses or swinging agreements, can work for some couples. He just doesn't see it as the best choice for many couples, as these types of agreements have a way of not working out as planned. "In my personal and professional opinion, when you invite infidelity into your relationship, it can potentially create conflict. Relationships are complicated alone, so there's no need to add further possible drama to it," Moore says.
So, what's the takeaway? Celebrity clauses exist, but they're unlikely to come to fruition. Beyond that hindrance, though, you may want to hit the brakes on discussing any type of cheating clause with your partner. "To have a celebrity crush is one thing, but to have a celebrity clause is another," he says. "If a person is in a committed relationship, they should refrain from introducing someone else into their relationship."
This makes a lot of sense. I mean, can you imagine what would happen if your husband said he fantasized you were Angelina Jolie during sex? Not great for the ol' libido.