I’ve often thought Tinder would be better if the format took away even more of my dating control. You know, a few more creepy texts, a few more unsolicited requests for a BJ. A little less like speed dating, and a little more like walking down a dark alley at night. A woman’s dream come true.
Nope, that’s not right — and a previous founder of Tinder is betting that you feel the same way. Whitney Wolfe helped develop Tinder before she left the company in 2014. She recently launched the Bumble dating app, which is similar to Tinder but exists to give power and confidence to the women who use it.
Translation: It only allows women to initiate conversations when you have a match.
Because I love you, I downloaded and tried Bumble. Here’s what I found out and what you need to know.
1. It really does feel empowering
The platform is really easy to use. It works just like Tinder but without an inherent sense of fear and dread. I know I won’t open my Bumble inbox to find a poem from a stranger about my vagina, which feels wonderfully empowering.
2. It moves quickly
Don’t want to message one of your connections in the first 24 hours? He’s gone. The quick removal of mediocre connections moves potential matches out of the dreaded online dating purgatory of many other platforms.
3. It breaks stereotypes
I’ve missed out on many potential love connections because I was too nervous to break gender stereotypes in a bar or club. It takes a special kind of woman to walk up to a stranger and let him know you’re interested, but Bumble requires women users to do so. Since everyone is breaking stereotyped dating rules, it feels super normal.
4. It’s less overwhelming
Forget the inbox with 1584 incoming messages. Bumble can certainly fill your inbox with messages, but they’re only from men who you’ve chosen to speak to first.
5. It generates politeness
The men are just so present, so grateful. I guess that’s because they’re so busy pining away for some lady interest that they forget to be douchebags.
6. It’s not meant for an ego boost
Time for some truth-telling. I’ve sometimes used OKCupid and Tinder simply because I want unsolicited compliments, and my 3-year-old daughter doesn’t give them to me. #sorrynotsorry. Bumble cannot do the same thing for its lady users, nor does it want to — which has both pros and cons, depending on what you’re looking for.
7. It’s not as mindless as Tinder
I do very little critical thinking on other dating sites — which probably explains my single status — but who has time for thinking when there are so many messages to sift through? With me in the driver’s seat, the effort takes longer and requires more thinking, energy and general time commitment.
8. It’s not teeming… yet
Sure, Bumble is growing. But I had nowhere close to the connections as I get on Tinder and OKCupid, which is a bummer. Hopefully some dudes will start to show up soon, or maybe they’re all scared of feminism. Time will tell.