The reason men like jealous women is staring you in the face??

Mar 20, 2015 at 1:00 p.m. ET
Image: Elie Bernager/Onoko/Getty Images

Jealous girlfriends seem like they'd be unattractive, right? Think of all the fighting. And strife. And exhaustion that comes from constantly having to justify oneself.

A writer for Details magazine described how jealousy is what fuels some men and their love of their girlfriends. If she is looking at other women like the enemy, then you know she is into you. Or something like that. But is that healthy?

I say it is. We all do it to a certain extent.

When my husband and I met, he had a girlfriend. I didn't know it at the time and he ended things pretty quickly, but I will admit the fact that she practically begged him not to leave was a pretty big turn-on. And then there were the other women who wanted him. A boss at work. A co-worker who put her arms around him and told him: "I'm not pretty like your wife, but I'm better in bed."

I used to rage at home, check his email, throw things around the house, demand all his passwords and email women I thought were out of line. Yep, I was a little nutso. But knowing other women wanted him made him hotter to me. And knowing how badly I wanted to keep him made me hotter to him.

This all happened before we had children. We've been married 12 years now and my jealousy has cooled. We are old fogies now. I love it. But thinking back on those days can still get me heated. There is something about fighting for what you love that makes it a more worthy goal.

It may not be healthy, but jealousy keeps those flames high and can fuel a passion that can last forever. So don't discount it. There is something inherently sizzling about knowing you are with a wanted man. And vice versa.

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