In an article published in the Courier Mail over the weekend, Michaela and James Reece revealed how for nine years, since they married, they haven’t been able to have sex because of a painful condition Michaela has called vaginismus.
The rare disorder, which Michaela now suffers after contracting an infection, causes the vaginal muscles to tighten, resulting in extreme pain during sex.
The Brisbane couple, who waited to have sex with each other until they were married, were mortified to learn they weren’t able to have sex without Michaela experiencing unbearable pain. The pair has since created a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for treatment in New York.
“Jimmy made a decision at the age of 14 that he would wait for his wedding night to have sex with his wife,” they wrote on GoFundMe. “We met, fell madly in love and dated and waited for 21 months before we got married. Imagine our heartbreak when sex was excruciatingly painful — to the point of impossible — and ended up in infection,” they wrote.
The couple, after years of not knowing what was wrong, finally received news from a specialist that it was the uncommon vaganismus disorder. Now that it has a name, though, they have hope of finding a cure.
“Every birthday, every anniversary, every new year that goes by means I still can’t be with my husband properly and it’s torture,” the couple said.
“Our 10 year anniversary is coming up in December this year. It’d be lovely if THIS was the year that we could be together in ‘that way’ for the first time.”
While it’s devastating for a couple to learn that they cannot engage in the intimate act of penetrative sex with each other, there are other ways couples can enjoy pleasurable intimacy in their relationships.
- Talking: Engaging in open discussion with your partner can be an incredibly intimate activity, especially as we use technology more and more to communicate. Look your partner in the eye when you talk to them, turn off the television and the smartphones and just be in the moment, paying attention to each other.
- Touching: Simply running each other’s hands and fingers over your bodies will have you breathing heavily and realising the connection between you is alive. Take note of your partner’s body and allow them to do the same with yours.
- Kissing: Kissing is said to be such a powerful form of intimacy that some even claim that orgasm can be reached just through heavy pashing alone.
- Outercourse: Being sexual beings, pleasuring ourselves and our partners is a primal urge and can be explored without penetrative sex. With heavy petting, physical intimacy and other forms of stimulation, intimacy can be shared together.