Long marriage has one major benefit all of us should be happy about
If you think marriage means the death of sex, think again. A new study shows that long-married people, 50 and even 65 years past their wedding dates, are still having wonderful, intimate times together. Not all of it is full intercourse, but it sounds pretty dreamy anyway.
A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior finds that, contrary to what many believe in terms of sex, our love lives only get richer and more nuanced as we get older with our spouses.
Most surprising? Long-married couples said their sexual activity decreased, but those who passed the 50-year wedding anniversary said it started to go back up. Even better? At 65 years, it was even higher. Researchers noted “that an individual married for 50 years will have somewhat less sex than an individual married for 65 years.”
And while many people are horrified by the idea of older adults having sex, I think it's wonderful. In fact, one woman said intimacy goes to a whole different level once you have been married 50+ years. She told the New York Times:
There’s an intimacy that comes later that is staggeringly wonderful. You can hold hands with this person you love and adore, and somehow it’s just as passionate as having sex at an earlier age. There is such a sense of connection and intimacy that grows out of a long relationship, that touch carries with it the weight of so many memories. And many are sexual.
Indeed what she misses most as a widow, she says, is holding hands.
It brought tears to my eyes.
I've only been married 12 years (only!) but I have already noticed that the level of our intimacy and love for one another has changed significantly. There are so many things we can say without using words and, though we have young kids and don't quite live the way we once did (falling into bed constantly), we have much more quality time together, which I'd argue is more important anyway.
Is it possible marriage just keeps getting better? Yes. 100 percent. So let's stop the marriage bashing. When it's right, it's absolutely wonderful.