Wristband fitness technology just got way sexier, and not because they’re making them in leather (they’re not… yet). A company called Geeksphone is coming out with one that will not only track your steps each day, but it will also track your sex. So if you enjoy the sort of competitive exercise that trackers like Fitbit inspire, get ready to take your game to a whole other level.
Now there are several sex tracker smartphone apps on the market, but this is one of the first wristbands that claims to be able to measure sexual escapades as exercise. While several other wristbands have attempted to monitor sexual activity in one way or another, none of them have utilized the accelerometer (the sensor found in most fitness trackers that counts steps) to track sexual movement. Most simply allow you to input your sexual activity manually, as if you wouldn’t be tempted to embellish your efforts in the bedroom at all.
Even the mainstream wristband Fitbit had the option in its early days, but unfortunately there was something amiss with its privacy function, and the company decided it was too risky to keep it as a setting. Mostly these sex apps just seem like fun little gimmicks — there’s one called Nipple that stores your sex partners’ names and favorite positions, while another called Spreadsheets tracks your TPM (thrusts per minute). I have to admit, that last one sounds impressive, but it still doesn’t track your ability on a fitness level.
Enter Geeksphone’s new wristband Geeksme. It tracks steps taken and calories burned just like a Fitbit, but it can also measure the aerobic levels of your sexual activity when you put it into “sex mode.” “Sex is healthy and we want to associate that comfort with having a healthier lifestyle,” explains Ángel Sánchez, Director of Innovation at Geeksphone. Amen, Mr. Sanchez. Sex, like a green smoothie, is healthy and fun.
Then I started thinking, what about those people who are Fitbit obsessed, and actually have competitions to see who can accrue the most steps in a week? Geeksme could end up taking friendly fitness competitions to a really weird (hilarious) place. With that in mind, here are some pros and cons of a sex tracker and how they compare to a Fitbit.
Pro: You’ll have more sex (Fitbit translation: You’ll get more exercise)
If you are a Fitbit-er, you’ll immediately get this. Having something on you all the time that’s monitoring the steps you take makes you much more inclined to take more steps. I have to assume the same would be true with a sex tracker in terms of sex. Of course, I’m still a little unclear as to what “moves” the Geeksme will count while one is doing the nasty, but if it counts toward my weekly exercise, I’m there (repeatedly).
Con (for both Fitbit and sex tracker): It could start feeling like work
Don’t get me wrong, regular sex is fantastic. Even if you’re not entirely in the mood for it at first, once you give yourself over to it, you usually find it’s exactly what you needed. Now add the exercise component to that. Suddenly it becomes that thing you have to do to get your day started, like brushing your teeth. Or, even worse, that thing that you forgot to do, and now it’s the end of the day and you’re tired, and you just want to get through it. In my opinion, sex should never be associated with meeting a weekly quota.
Pro: You get crazy creative in the bedroom (Fitbit: Jumping marathons)
You simply must achieve that 10,000-step mark every day with the Fitbit, and sometimes that means getting creative with your stepping. A sex tracker like Geeksme could allow for sex to be that creative thing, which is needless to say, awesome. I also assume it would inspire you to get super inventive between the sheets (and on top of them and hanging from the ceiling fan, etc.). You get the idea.
Con: You’ll be at greater risk for injury (Fitbit: Ditto)
More of anything strenuous could lead to injuries, and sexual injuries? Well, they’re really not fun. I would say wear protective gear, but knee pads just aren’t sexy.
Pro (both): Major bragging points
You can literally show off your sexual stats to your friends, and then show them how hot you look in your jeans. If they don’t give credit where credit is due, they’re just jealous.
Con: You might feel like a slave to sex (Fitbit: And/or stepping)
These trackers are extremely goal-oriented, and if you’re at all obsessive like I am, you may forget about other important things (or in the case of a sex tracker, other important people). Just remember, sex is something that should only happen between two consenting people. Unlike Fitbit, it’s not a marathon you can run by yourself. Simply put, you can’t force the issue all the time, unless you have a strict dominant/submissive contract in place.
Pro: You’ll encourage each other to stick with it, and challenge each other to take steps forward (Fitbit: Umm… yeah, same thing!)
I love having a workout buddy, because you keep each other on your game, give tough love when needed and positive reinforcement when deserved. Doesn’t that sound like exactly what you want in the bedroom too? Having a monitor simply helps keep you on track. In the end, it’s all about teamwork.