I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with my Australian boyfriend for the past few years. We go months without seeing each other. And although we communicate in every way possible, there is no eloquent way to express the frustration our circumstance can produce. It sucks. And it’s hard. But it’s worth it because we want to be together.
Regardless of any couple’s relationship — whether they live together or an ocean a part — the most important component is communication. And thanks to the tech gods responsible for today’s communication innovations, my relationship doesn’t have to seem so distant. We viber, email, Gchat, occasionally make phone calls, but the most priceless selection form of our communication buffet is Skype. This magical conduit has become a part of our relationship — a sort of life preserver that keeps our connection afloat when the hardships of the distance try to drown out our love.
But there are certain habits we’ve sustained that make the distance not seem that bad.
Schedule your Skype time
This might sound impossible, but scheduling the time to chat with your partner is key. We’ve Skyped almost every day since we’ve been apart. And of course there are days when conflicts arise and you just can’t, but having that set time (for us it’s at the end of my day due to the time difference), makes it feel like a date. It’s our precious time that we both make a priority.
Do activities you would do together in person
Whether it’s watching a movie, eating, cooking or even cleaning, Skyping allows us to prop the computer up and carry on like we’re in the same room. But be careful. Once in an effort to brush our teeth together, I had my laptop on top of my toilet and it almost toppled down into the water.
Skype sex is like phone sex, but better. It’s sort of like making an X-rated home movie, starring you and your partner, but you don’t have to record it and worry about having a sex-tape floating around. And I’ll be honest, it was a bit awkward at first for me. I didn’t know where to put the computer, the lighting in my apartment was unflattering, and I just felt silly. But we ended up going with the silliness and laughing hysterically, which made us connect on a new level during intimacy.
Now we’ve got the hang of it, and we’ve found our groove. Sex for any committed relationship can get stale, and being open to new experiences in the bedroom, especially for the long-distance lovers, is vital and keeps the spark alive.
Avoid the haters
If you don’t make it a point to tell everyone in your life that your Skype date is a priority, then you’ll break the commitment and your relationship will fizzle. Your friends and family might mock you for carrying on in this way. Not everyone can handle or even understand a long-distance relationship. But if you believe in your relationship, and your future together (hopefully in the same place one day), then don’t deny yourself or your partner what feels right. You know better than anyone else what will work for you. And your long-distance situation is worth enduring and fighting for.
The fact that you and your partner are far apart doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. It hasn’t been for my relationship. Good communication helps, and having a good webcam is key.