Why fighting is killing your relationship

Nov 13, 2010 at 2:03 p.m. ET

Every couple argues now and again, and in fact, a little bickering can be healthy in any relationship. But if you constantly feel like you're sparring with your partner, your relationship may be headed towards a meltdown. Here's why fighting can squash all your squishy feelings and eventually kill your relationship.

couple fighting

It builds resentment

Men and women both want to feel adored and appreciated in relationships. When you fight, you both stop recognising the other person's positive contributions to the relationship. Too many day or weeks in a row of fighting can make you start forgetting all the things you love about your partner, and vice versa. It can get to the point where you stop wanting to do anything for your partner because you feel as if your actions go unnoticed.

It makes you sick

Not only does your head and heart suffer from constant squabbling, but your physical health can take a hit, too. Anger increases heart rate and blood pressure and sends stress hormones into high alert, says Positive Connections Australia. This, in turn, zaps your energy -- if you never feel well, how can you care for your partner, pets, house, job and, most importantly, yourself?

It cripples your sex life

Intense make-up sex is hot every once and a while, but it won't happen when there's an argument everyday. People don't want to be close to their lovers when they're mad at them all the time. Sex is about connection, and lingering rage and resentment can build a permanent wedge between you and your partner in this department.

It makes you less fun to be around

Your co-workers or friends may be there for you when you have a few angry moments, but constant rage will push people away from you. In time, your partner, in addition to family, friends and colleagues, will respond negatively to your behaviours, says Queensland-based Beenleigh Counselling and Psychology. This can eventually completely ruin your closest relationship and social isolation, which can further fuel your anger.

Too much fighting?

Watch this brief clip and decide if you want to be right, or if you want to be happy.

Loading...

Comments