Ever wanted to feel like a hooker who is given everything by a handsome, wealthy, corporate type, who she eventually falls in love with, and rescues from a meaningless life? Got $100,000 to burn? Then call up the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, ask for the “Pretty Woman for a Day” package, and get ready for the date of a lifetime!
The luxurious Beverly Hills hotel is offering this ridiculously extravagant package to mark the 25th anniversary of this iconic film, which was shot significantly in the lobby and Presidential Suite of the hotel back in the late 1980s.
Now before you get all bent out of shape about the $100,000 price tag, there are actually three options to help you fulfill your Pretty Woman dreams, and the other two are a little more reasonable.
For a mere $15,000, or what Richard Gere’s character Edward Louis would spend on dinner, you get a night in the Deluxe Beverly Suite, a personal shopper for two hours on Rodeo Drive, a romantic picnic with a limo escort, a dining etiquette lesson, dinner on a terrace, couple’s massages and a photo shoot.
However, if you’re feeling saucy, and want to jump up to the Premiere package priced at $22,500, you get all of the above plus a nicer suite, a longer picnic with a musical serenade, a better massage and $1,000 per person to spend during your shopping spree. Probably not going to get sour looks from store clerks on that allowance!
The ultimate, or $100,000, package includes all this but more of it. You’ll stay in the Presidential Suite, be whisked away to the opera, have twice the budget for your shopping spree, and longer, more elaborate dates with your sweetie. You even get someone holding up stills from the movie to inspire you to act out memorable scenes. Now if that’s not money well spent, I don’t know what is!
However, if you’re a normal person without the price of a decent house in your mad money drawer, but would still like a romantic movie-style date night, here are some other options that I think are just as fun, and obviously much less painful on the wallet.
1. Harry Met Sally
So simple, and classic. Go to your favorite casual restaurant (preferably a diner). Dig up some of your bulkiest, least flattering sweaters and throw them on after you tease your hair to high heaven. When the waitress comes by to take your order, remember to order something that seems basic, but is in fact unnecessarily complicated. After which point, promptly fake an orgasm loud enough so that everyone stops what they’re doing and looks at you in awe. If you can, have your SO’s mother nearby to watch and comment. If you’re not seeing fireworks by the end, you did something wrong.
2. Dirty Dancing
OK, so this one’s a little more complicated, but trust me, the payoff is totally worth it. Take a trip with your family up to a lodge in the Catskills (or some remote, mountainous vacation destination), and make sure it’s one of those places that has a lot of hokey activities in which you can half-assedly participate.
Have you sig-o come up too, but separately, and see if you can get him a job as a dance instructor (or some other low-paying job). Spend the first few days being sulky and dressing awkwardly, then start learning a dance routine with him in secret, all the while dressing more and more ’80s dancer hot. On the last night, pick a fight with your father, and brood angrily in the corner of the dining hall. Put “Time of Your Life” on the sound system, and dance the crap out of that final number in front of everyone. P.S.: If you don’t do the lift, none of this will have been worth it.
3. Shakespeare in Love
Who doesn’t think Shakespeare is the key to some good old-fashioned romance? For this one, your SO needs to hold a casting call for something Shakespearean, then you appear and give a pants dropping audition dressed as a boy. Make sure you hire people that don’t know you, so the illusion will be complete. Then just let Shakespeare do his work. Make sure to go over lines both pre and post sexual encounters, and let that passion seep into rehearsals in front of the cast. Nothing like a little intrigue to spice things up. On opening night, you may choose to either reveal your true sex during or after the performance, depending on how invested you are in the show.
Another pleasantly simple one. You or your lover gets a job in a bar (or bartend at someone’s party). Whoever is the bartender, make sure you’ve taken a couple of classes so you know what you’re doing, act all cocky (i.e., Tom Cruise-like), and let the bartender sex appeal dominate the situation. There is nothing hotter than a great bartender, and I speak from experience.
5. You’ve Got Mail
We end with another classic Meg Ryan flick. All you’ll need for this one is two new email addresses, then just start sending long, adorable emails to each other that have everything to do with little, innocent pleasures, and nothing to do with sex. When you meet up for the first time, try really, really hard to act legitimately surprised at who your “mystery emailer” turns out to be.
More on great date ideas
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