Why does taking compliments from men make women conceited?

Jan 15, 2015 at 12:15 p.m. ET

Taking a compliment isn't easy. Most women struggle with it and find it hard to simply say "thank you" after someone tells them they are beautiful. So what happened when one college student decided not just to say "thank you" but to actually agree with the compliments? To say men reacted badly is a massive understatement.

Claire Boniface, a 20-year-old student, started "agreeing with boys when they compliment you." Rather than demure and shrug it off, Boniface agreed with them to find out what might happen if she took that rather bold (for a woman) step. It was pretty sickening. They came back to tell her she wasn't all that. They called her names. And when another woman, 18-year old Gweneth Bateman did the same thing, she tweeted her results.See below:


Pretty disgusting, right? The funny thing is, men want us to be confident, right? They hate when we ask them if we are fat or beg them to give us commentary on our shoes, hair, outfits, and makeup. And yet they equally don't want us to feel good about ourselves? Something doesn't compute.

But this is not just about men. Women need to learn how to take compliments, myself included. I get flustered when someone says something nice to me and am never sure how to respond. The obvious thing to say is "thanks," but then, like in the movie Mean Girls, are you then agreeing?


Gif Credit: Giphy.com

Are you saying you also think you have pretty hair or eyes or look thinner? And if you are, why does it matter? Why shouldn't we feel good about ourselves?

It's a pretty ridiculous standard. We women aren't allowed to revel in our own beauty? We can only passively say thank you or demure while hating the way we look?

There is nothing conceited about thinking you are attractive. There is nothing conceited about believing you are worthy of more than cheesy pick up lines. It is not being "full of oneself" to appreciate one's own beauty. We should all be doing so every day.

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