Oh, to be young again! No, I don’t mean to be naive and fixated on your ever-present acne. I’m talking about being young and in love. Remember the fun of a teenage fling? It’s time we adults started acting like kids again.
Whether you’re married or in a committed relationship, taking things too seriously can steal all the fun out of love and sex. We get caught up in bills, dinner plans, work meetings (yadda yadda) until we forget why we love our spouses. Before it’s too late, here are some rules of the teenage hookup that adults really need to bring back!
1. The makeout.
We’ve forgotten about the beauty of a good makeout session. Remember those heated embraces under the bleachers? Blind fumbling in the high school auditorium? You know, back before sex? As adults, we’ve overlooked the importance of a good smooch. The smooch has become foreplay for a good hump, but what if a smooch is enough? I dare you to kiss (just kiss) your fellah for a half hour with no intention of taking things further. Bring back the simple excitement of a lip-lock.
2. Avoid serious conversations.
OK, I know you need to have the occasional serious discussion. For instance, you need to talk about changes in career, the possibility of having kids, finances… blech! Necessary evils. However, don’t get bogged down in the evil. Make a rule at least one night a week: no serious talk. I’m serious. I suggest starting the night with a good joke. Tell him that embarrassing story from senior prom or about the time you accidentally set your friend’s hair on fire. Whatever you talk about, keep it light, at least one night a week. It’ll become something you look forward to doing together.
3. Cars are acceptable sex vehicles.
When was the last time you had sex in a car? If you say high school graduation, it’s been too long. Beds are nice and cozy and comfy, but they’re not adventurous. Get behind the wheel, drive to a deserted spot and do it. Or hey, just mess around in your driveway. Makes no difference to me. Steam up some windows!
4. Stop looking for Mr. Right.
We take ourselves so seriously as adults. It’s all about meeting the guy, figuring out what he does for a living and picturing your future children. Men who still live in their mother’s basement? Off the list. I say no! If that guy who lives in his mother’s basement is hot, give him a chance! Stop looking toward the long and lengthy future and live for the moment. In high school, it wasn’t like you ever asked to see a prospective date’s grade card. You went for the guy who could make you laugh. Go out this weekend and stop looking for marriage material. For a night, just have fun with that cute guy with good taste in beer.
5. Group dates are awesome.
Remember in high school when your group of girlfriends used to meet up with that group of guy friends and you would all just hang together? Well, round up your adult pals (even the married ones) and force everyone to go bowling. Or ice skating. Or whatever. Get a group together and have some fun. Quiet, romantic dinner dates are great, but so are all-out wild nights with a crowd of your fave folks. And who knows? Your group date might just turn into a love connection.
6. Host an adult prom.
Nobody dresses up anymore. Why not? Don’t men know a nice suit is the male version of lingerie? Men in suits turn us on, which is why prom was so much fun. Sure, we knew our boyfriends were cute, but when he showed up at the front door with a corsage and a suit… Wow! Bring the tradition back. Throw a themed party, formal attire required. Play bad ’90s music. Hide a flask under your dress. And don’t forget: Part of the fun of a nice suit is taking it off.
7. Date more than one person.
In high school, dating was so casual. You were with one guy one week; another guy the next. Or you were possibly hanging out with several different guys at once. This is because, in high school, you were shopping around, figuring out your type. You probably dated nerds, skaters, jocks. If you’re single now, do the same thing. Date more than one dude, and date dudes of totally different demographics. Dating is supposed to be fun, not high pressure. Spread the love around and relax.
8. Have a bonfire.
Ah, the smell of burning wood, fall leaves and cheap beer! After football games in the Midwest, it was off to the fire pit for us, where we made new friends, did a bit of making out and even snuck a couple of our parents’ brews. Everyone loves a good campfire. Get together a group of your funniest friends, and have some story time. Again, it’s about relaxing and remembering what it feels like to be a kid, if only until the firewood runs out.
9. Spin-the-bottle party.
Singles only, obviously. I would not suggest this to a bunch of married people, duh. If you’re single, invite every single person you know, supply the booze, and start the spinning. Who knows? An innocent, playful kiss could turn into happily ever after.
10. Stay out all night. Then, go to Denny’s.
Now, we’re happy if we’re in bed by 10. Screw that. Have a night where you don’t even leave the house until 10 o’clock. Hit up a chill bar first, and then, a club. Dance, dance, dance until your dogs are barking. Then, grab a cab to the nearest late night eatery. Don’t count your calories. Order Moons Over My Hammy. Sleep until noon. For one night, be an irresponsible kid.
11. Embrace the butterflies.
We like to seem powerful, successful and tough. We have careers and paid-off cars and condos. We are strong women! Rawr! But hang on. Remember that time in high school when the captain of the football team said you were pretty and you felt like glitter might pour from your eyes? That’s right, folks: remember butterflies? It’s great to be an empowered, modern woman, but once in a while, when the right guy strikes, embrace those butterflies. Feel giddy for a second. Let your guard down and just be happy. In the end, that’s what love is all about.