How to Sext With Total Confidence

Oct 31, 2017 at 3:05 a.m. ET
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It totally seems like shooting off a couple of casual sexts would be simple — that is until you actually try to send one. If you think dirty talk is hard face-to-face, the awkwardness of a sexy text is a whole different level of feeling unsure of yourself. Plus, texts are forever. There's no erasing your embarrassment if you send a message you regret.

Not to worry — there are plenty of us in the same boat. We spend all day with a cellphone in hand, but the thought of using said cell phone for sexy time sounds downright horrifying. But all nervousness aside, there are some big benefits to sexting. For starters, it can make it easier to break into the dirty talk if you find yourself to be on the shyer side face-to-face. Sexting can also be a clever way to rev up a long-term relationship that's in need of a jump-start (or just a jump).

More: The Truth About Women's Sexting Habits May Surprise You

According to 2015 research presented at the American Psychological Association’s 123rd Annual Convention, up to 88 percent of adults are sexting. If you're new to the game, here's how to join in on the fun:

The rules of how to sext are simple:

  1. Don't sext with a person you've never had actual sex with. Being a sexting pro means knowing what he likes and being familiar with his comfort level.
  2. Keep your texts concise. Short messages. Direct descriptions. You're not writing a Harlequin romance novel.
  3. Autocorrect is not your friend. Texting that you want to "duck" will make his penis (or her vagina) want to start dating other vaginas.
  4. Start out with light, flirty texts, then work your way up to the steamy ones. Consider it digital foreplay.

Ready to get started, dear grasshopper? Of course you are! Here are a few (OK, 20) sexting examples you can use as a jumping off point:

Next Up: To set the stage...

Originally published February 2014. Updated October 2017.

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