7 Hilarious questions men have about women

Dec 4, 2014 at 3:30 p.m. ET

For many men, women are the biggest puzzles in the world. So enigmatic! Why do we do the things we do? To be fair, we ladies are a bit mysterious and one can maybe understand how we have men so confounded. But their questions aren't about the true mysteries. Nope. They are about the smaller things.

A hilarious Reddit thread attempts to get some answers to the most pressing questions men have about the women in their lives. It's impossible to read without chuckling, but also: It's so dang true! Check out the seven best questions from the thread below... along with my attempt to answer them once and for all.

Question 1

Why do you only like guys when they don't show explicit attention in you. Seriously, it seems that the girls I speak to the least are the ones that are most interested in me. If I flirt in return, they immediately stop behaving in a flirtatious manner. So I guess my question is... what's up with that?

Answer: Don't we all like that which is hard to get? I mean, truthfully. Do you want something easy? Every guy thinks he's the "nice guy" who should get all the girls. Few are. Confidence is sexy. A guy who knows he is a catch doesn't feel like he has to suck up to us. Sad but true. Learn it. Live it.

Question 2

What the hell do you want to eat?

Answer: I don't know. What do you want?

Question 3

When girls go to the bathroom together, what do they talk about?

Answer: You. Always you.

Question 4

How much do women really understand each other? I've heard women say, "I'm a woman, but even I don't understand XYZ about women." Are there certain universal constants that are the same among a high enough percentage of women?

Answer: This may shock you (brace yourself) but we are all individuals. We don't know everything about each other just because of what's between our legs. Some women make sense to me. Some don't. Some men do. Most don't. See how that works?

Question 5

Are you really OK taking the guy's last name after marriage and losing yours completely?

And does it make you uncomfortable when recently-wed couples are referred to as Mr. and Mrs. — and then just the guy's full name?

As a guy, this all seems insane to me, but I guess women have been conditioned to not care about such subtle subjugation. Thoughts?

Answer: Um. Wow. Will you marry me?

Question 6

Why do you use so much TP and why am I always the one who needs to buy it? I don't even use toilet paper.

Answer: Ew.

Question 7

OK, so I've been hearing a few rumors and I guess now it's time to clear things up completely. Do you, or do you not shit?

Answer: Nope. Never. And we smell like daisies all dang day.

Ah, men. So simple. So sweet. We wicked ladies love to keep our deep, dark secrets. You'll never know. Buhahahahah.

What questions does your man have about you?

More on love:

15 Things he'll never understand about you
25 Topics to never bring up on a first date
5 Signs that will mislead you to thinking he's a bad guy

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