How to have sex when your family’s downstairs

You don’t need to keep your hands off your man just because your parents are downstairs. But you do need to read these tips first, or you could end up very embarrassed.

How to have sex when your family are downstairsPhoto credit: Jon Feingersh / Blend Images / Getty Images

Heading back to your parents’ house for the holidays? Or are they invading your space this year? Nothing like a little quality time to bond with the family… Until you and your man feel the need for a bit of alone time, that is.

Having sex when your parents are in the house is something nobody wants to talk about (gross, right?), but most people need to deal with it at some point. It’s either that or keeping your hands to yourself. And how does that fit in with the idea of giving thanks this holiday season?

So if the mood takes you — or you just want to work off those extra helpings of turkey — here are some pointers.

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Keep quiet

It’s fun to get vocal in the bedroom, but best to keep your lips sealed (so to speak) if your parents are downstairs. Why not use the challenge to spice it up? Find other ways (eye contact, touch) to communicate with your partner. Silent sex can be really erotic.

Create a distraction

If you can keep quiet but are worried about noisy bedsprings or a clattering headboard, then turn up the volume on the stereo. Or tell your parents you have a great movie you think they’d love. As soon as it starts, slip away to join your partner in the bedroom, and hope the film keeps your folks entertained.

Reasons to have more sex

Find a hidden place in the house to have sex to reduce the risk of getting caught, like a walk-in closet or cellar. Nowhere suitable indoors? Take it to the garden shed or the garage. You’re less likely to get caught than if you go for it in the bedroom, but there’s still the added excitement of doing it while your parents are making lunch.

Go undercover

If there’s a possibility you’ll be interrupted mid-coitus, then do everything you can to protect your modesty. Keep your more adventurous sex positions for another time, and stick to spooning under the duvet. If someone bursts into the room, you might just get away with pretending you’re snuggling up for a snooze. As a further foil, keep your clothes on above the waist. Nobody need know what’s going on down below.

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