Smothering yourself in honey or soaking in a bathtub of his favourite beer might sound like a great way to turn your partner on, but there are a few things to consider — and avoid.
Here’s how to pull off a sexy-food bedroom rendezvous (and sidestep any disasters).
Food is a many splendoured thing. All you need is food. Or maybe it’s love. It’s so easy to get the two confused, because when it comes to bedroom antics, they pair together so well.
However, before you go skipping off with a tub of yogourt and sexy intentions, flick an eye over the food-in-bed basics, lest you end up with more than egg on your face. You see, when it comes to getting freaky with food, there are some rules to follow and disasters to avoid.
Food and sex
Since it engages so many senses (smell, touch, taste, sight), food is a glorious addition to bedroom shenanigans. And because it offers a broad range of possibilities — from the subtle, like feeding each other, to the hard-core, like getting physical — it’s easy to suit it to every taste and relationship.
However, keep in mind that not everybody is into mixing snacks and sex, so make sure to discuss your ideas with your partner before springing chocolate sauce, whipped cream or a carrot on them. Once both of you are on the same page, here are some basic rules that’ll turn a simple food experience into a memorably sexy one.
What to try
Little morsels of deliciousness can be sensational in foreplay. So if you’d like to use food in a subtle way rather than making it the focus of your sexual experience, here are a few things you can try.
Just make sure to take your time and look as sexy as possible.
“Take the food between [your] lips, then slowly eat it, keeping eye contact throughout. And most importantly, enjoy it!” she instructs.
If you’d like to turn things up a notch, blindfolding your partner before you feed them is a sexy way to do so. You can even turn it into a sexy game by asking your partner to identify what they’re eating and then offering a reward if they’re right.
If you’re planning to do the feeding in bed, award-winning sex worker and sex coach Charlotte Rose advises you to be organized.
“Allow time to prepare the area [with] a wipeable PVC sheet or towels that you don’t mind staining or can be washed,” she says.
This is something chocolate sauce victim Magnus can happily attest to.
“My partner and I thought it’d be fun to mess around with chocolate, and that part was great,” he says, “but when we were finished, there were brown smears all over our sheets. It wasn’t a pleasant sight, and it kind of destroyed the mood.”
A little risqué
Got something a little naughtier in mind? Demontis recommends you turn things up a notch by licking or eating food off each other’s bodies. You can try the Japanese practice of nyotaimori by placing sushi on your naked body and inviting your partner to eat it. Just make sure you’re well groomed — and avoid wasabi.
She warns couples to learn from her mistake and to either make the sushi themselves or ensure that the chef puts no wasabi (or anything else spicy) inside.
If you’re not a massive sushi fan, you can easily replace it with other edible goodies, like chocolate, fruit or whipped cream. But even here disaster can strike.
“My girlfriend surprised me with a whipped cream bikini top which I had to lick off,” says Jonathon, “but there was a lot of cream, so we ended up wiping half of it off, and it was stickier than we thought, which got in the way of things.”
Hard-core food fetish
If the idea of getting intimate with food is what gets you all hot and bothered, Valentine’s Day might be the perfect time to experiment. Just make sure your partner is on board and comfortable with what you want to do.
“Make sure that the food is one piece and that nothing can break off inside the body,” she adds.
A good disaster prevention technique is to place a condom over anything you plan to insert into your Queen Victoria, just to be safe.
Want food that turns you on? Here are some recipes inspired by aphrodisiacs >>
What to avoid
- Foods that can cause allergies. Always check that your partner is not allergic to the food you’re planning to use; there’s nothing sexy about anaphylactic shock.
- Anything spicy. In addition to chili, which doesn’t belong anywhere near your family jewels, you should also avoid mustard, horseradish and wasabi. Anything that stings your mouth will also burn your privates.
- Herbs and spices. Believe it or not, things such as ground ginger, cinnamon and mint can be rather uncomfortable when they make contact with sensitive parts of your body.
- Sugar or salt. If you’ve ever gotten freaky at a beach and felt the effects of the sand, you should understand why grainy foods, such as sugar and salt, are best avoided. Ouch!
- Pure beer. Although beer baths have taken off in Europe, they are not made entirely from beer and are kept at a constant, adequately high temperature. Sitting in a bath of pure beer is not the same thing, and not only will it shoot alcohol straight into your bloodstream, but it can have other undesirable effects.
- Honey, chocolate or maple syrup. While these are fine to lick off or eat from most parts of the body, when too close to your lady parts, these syrupy substances can actually cause yeast infections — hardly the Valentine’s Day present a girl dreams about.
Playing with food is a combination of fun, experimentation and common sense. In the wise words of Rose, “Be safe, make it fun, and be honest — not only with yourself but your partner too. You’ll be amazed what can happen in the bedroom if you are more open with the things that turn you on.”