Speaking each other’s language

Most petty arguments escalate due to misunderstandings and miscommunication. These misunderstandings almost always occur because men and women speak different languages in relationships. What we say and what we mean and what he thinks we mean are three completely different things. So before you put up walls and cry under your covers, learn to understand what he is truly saying, and make him realize what you are really looking for.

Couple talking

Take some time to think

As time goes by and two people grow into a more solid relationship, they start to understand the unique ways by which they work. But when arguing, all this understanding seems to be the first thing to go out of the window. It is hard to try to understand where he is coming from when you are hurt or upset. Once you stop and realize that he is upset too, it might be easier to take a step back and undo the situation. Whenever you argue, allow yourself — and your man too — to step away for a little bit and look at the big picture, because most likely you are both just speaking different languages that need to be synchronized.

Look at the big picture

We all show our love differently. Sometimes it’s easy to think your man doesn’t care, simply because he is showing it in ways different from what you expect. In his mind, he took your car to the mechanic for you and had it fixed because you were busy — an expression of love and care. At that same time, though, you were hoping for a date or some quality time with him. You ended up focusing on how he doesn’t care and he ended up feeling unappreciated. The result? Yet another argument because of a misunderstanding. So before you jump to conclusions, look at the big picture and appreciate the things he does before deciding that he doesn’t care enough.

Learn new languages

Now that you realize that guys express emotions differently, you can voice your needs and do what he appreciates most. If you are a sucker for romantic words, tell him this when you are having a heart-to-heart. Tell him that you appreciate his being there for you and would never trade that for the world, but you also love romantic words, and whenever he says romantic things to you, it makes you very happy. Because how you’re saying this to him won’t feel like an attack, he will become more sensitive to your language. Likewise, learn the ways he likes to be shown love the most, and do it. And remember, it’s not about loving the person the way they want to be loved; it’s about loving them with all you’ve got.

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