Advice on how to break up with someone

You know you want out of your relationship. Here are ways you can make the break-up go more smoothly (and maybe even still remain friends with your soon-to-be ex).

Breaking up

Breaking up is hard to do. That’s a fact. But there are good ways to go about breaking up with someone, and bad ways. Here are some break-up strategies that’ll help make it a smoother transition.

Do it as soon as you realize you want out

You may find yourself procrastinating, dreading the awkwardness and the potential anger or tears you may have to deal with. But to be fair to your boyfriend and yourself, don’t carry on as though you are happy even though you intend to break up with him. This will do neither of you any good. Also, resist the temptation to act like such a jerk that it’ll force your boyfriend to break up with you — that’s just plain mean and immature.

Break up in person

Text, email, phone call, Post-it note (Berger method of choice when he broke up with Carrie on Sex and the City) — these are all unacceptable ways to break up with someone. Give the person some respect and do it in person. Accept the fact that the meeting will be uncomfortable; but, in the end, you will both be better off if you can air this out face to face. It’ll help give closure to each of you.

Share the key reasons you no longer want to date

This does not mean you should list every time he annoyed you, or how you can’t stand his laugh or the way he kisses. Be honest, but keep it brief and make sure what you’re sharing is about you (e.g., talk about how you don’t feel ready to settle down yet, or how you’re not comfortable with your differences in interests rather than how you hate how he spends all his time playing video games).

Soften the blow

Unless your boyfriend has also been thinking he wants out of this relationship, this conversation is going to hurt. You can make it less harsh by mentioning one or two things you do enjoy about him — how his drive inspires you to work harder, for example. Tread carefully, though; you don’t want to sound like you’re pandering to him or give him hope that you still want to be with him.

More love and sex tips

4 Outrageous ways to get over your ex
5 Relationship red flags
Common problems in your first year of marriage

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