Open communication is the hallmark of any great relationship. If he were doing a great job with the kids or leaving dishes in the sink, you’d talk about what you liked or didn’t like about his behavior. When it comes to discussing sex, though, shyness can get in the way of a fantastic sex life. Get the sex you’ve always wanted with these easy tips to opening the lines of sexual communication between you and your partner.
Talking about sex doesn’t have to be serious business. Sometimes, laughing and joking about sex is downright fun. When the topic comes up, crack some silly jokes that eventually lead to a serious conversation. Start by recounting an adventurous time you and your partner had in the bedroom, and laugh about it. Then, as the conversation progresses, say “I liked that because…” or “I wouldn’t want to do that again because…” This way, everyone is having fun, which means the pressure is off.
Bring it up when you’re having a “moment.”
Perhaps you’re enjoying a nice dinner, a few glasses of wine and reflecting on your relationship with one another. This is the perfect moment to bring up the sexy things you want to talk about. Catch your partner when he’s feeling especially open and tell him about your desire to use a sexy new lubricant or try a new position.
Talk about sex after sex.
When you’re both basking in the afterglow, take time to recount what just happened. Tell your partner what you liked and didn’t like while you’re both feeling open to suggestions. If your partner is doing a great job, encourage him. If you’d like something to change, make sure he knows before the next round. Perhaps even offer to show him exactly what you want and how you want it. It’s a sexy way to take charge and get the most out of sex.
Use little coincidences.
You and your partner are sitting on the couch and watching a movie on a Saturday night. A steamy sex scene comes on that gets you hot and bothered, but you don’t know how to tell your guy. Rather than bringing it up on your own, open up the conversation. Ask him, “What do you think about that?” and gauge his response. If the feedback is positive, suggest you try it out sometime. Take advantage of the little coincidences in media when you see something you like.
Leave him a note or send him a text.
If verbalizing what you want makes you feel shy, try writing your guy a sexy note or text. Describe what you want outright; then, when you meet up later, ask him what he thought about what you wrote. A dialog doesn’t always have to be verbal. Any form of communication can lead to perfect, mind-blowing sex.