Merging lives with the one you love is excitingÂ… merging your furniture can be a whole other story. Emotions can run high on moving day when he plants his second-hand orange plaid love seat right next to your baby blue Italian leather sofa. If you can’t afford to start from scratch and buy new furniture, then try passing it off as eclectic.
Are you both ready?
“The decision to amalgamate two households and create one out of the two, carries with it a weighty message for the couple. If couples can recognize their own vision of what they want their home to be and then be very open about sharing that vision with one another, it is less likely they will hit as many snags along the way,” explains therapist, Paula Crawford.
Crawford says moving in together often works best when each spouse realizes their partner needs a sense of connection and autonomy. Allow each other space, even if it is just a corner to accommodate their special “stuff.” When people are faced with their mate’s ghastly furnishings, they should be aware that belongings often have a special significance.
Whenever there is disagreement about furnishings, each should ask themselves if the item is something that can be lived without or if there will be resentment if it is removed. Talk to each other about the furniture mix — see if you can live with the results for awhile. As the family funds grow, replace “his stuff” and “her stuff” with “our stuff.”
“Here’s a good exercise: Imagine your home empty with all the furnishings taken out, then putting it all back, but doing it together. As long as both of you feel you have a voice in the decisions — accommodations and changes can be made,” says Crawford.
More tips on relationships:
MOre moving info
Moving tips from professionals