Ladies beware: We know where the most immature men live

Oct 22, 2014 at 1:00 p.m. ET
Image: Ranplett/Vetta/Getty Images

Head out for a glass of wine or grab a perfect stack of blueberry brunch pancakes with your girls, and you'll probably hear someone utter, "Where are all the good men?!"

On the heels of Pew Research that showed all the eligible, employed young single men seem to have congregated out West, real estate app Estately decided to figure out the flip side of the equation and tell us where all the immature men reside.

To determine which states were home to the most overgrown man-children, Estately gathered up data from men ages 25 to 65 (primarily from Facebook) in six key categories: unemployment, porn viewership, enthusiasm for fantasy football, beer pong, Family Guy and video games. The result?

Midwesterners, Great Lakes regional folk, Southwesterners and people in Appalachia: BEWARE. And if you want the state-by-state breakdown, Rhode Island, Delaware, Illinois, North Dakota and Ohio make up your top five.

Just beyond that top five, you'll find my state: Michigan. (Ahh, a proud day.) So considering The Mitten is apparently home to many of these so-called immature men, I must have encountered these fellas, right? Maybe even dated some? Perhaps this is why I am unlucky in love; we're overpopulated with immaturity!

With that in mind, I decided to take Estately's six categories above and think of them as general dating red flags you might want to avoid. Just proceed into the relationship with caution.

He's obsessed with fantasy football

I am a big football fan, but the idea of stressing out over a fantasy team feels like something I'd have to put in the "over the top" box. And for whatever reason, guys who like fantasy football seem to spend an inordinate amount of time and energy creating these little roster-things each week... and then talking about those instead of life-things. Not exactly the stuff of the legendary intellectual conversations my relationship dreams are made of.

Unemployed and not concerned

Unless there's a truly valid reason and it's about to be rectified in a hurry, or there's a valid effort being made, 'nuff said.

Lives and dies for Family Guy episodes

Someone needs to explain this show to me. It's a cartoon made acceptable for the older, predominantly male set? Eh, I can't relate. And now that I think of it, I've probably maybe (totally) judged guys in the past for liking this brand of frat-boy-like humor.

Beer pong is weekly activity

Never my thing. But if you mention this activity to me post-grad, I am going to assume you're still living out your college glory days. No bueno.

Video games all the time, everywhere

I know more than one girl in my friend circle who broke up with their steady boyfriends over video game obsessions, because the dudes chose the video games over their ladies, y'all. One guy I dated literally pulled out his iPad at every possible opportunity to play some game with loud explosions and noises. I think it involved zombies? (Ugh.)

Porn viewership comes up in every silent moment

I hate when guys talk about porn. Some guys wouldn't dare, but these man-child types tend to talk about it as much and as easily as what they had for lunch that day. (Ick.) Any guy that prioritizes his porn viewership isn't going to be at the top of my list of suitable relationship material candidates.

So, yes, Estately, I think you guys might be onto something. I know it's not exactly Pew Research Center science-y, but it feels so real.

Now you know, ladies. Beware of these traits — especially my fellow Midwestern gals and other aforementioned territories. If a guy drops the term "beer pong" or has a sky-high video game collection, you might wanna run for the hills.

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