We’ve often wondered who the world’s biggest d-bag is… and now we’ve finally found him. Meet Joe, the homeless 26-year-old who preys on women for a place to stay.
Joe’s mom kicked him out of their Boston home when she found his stash of drugs. So, he trekked it to NYC where he now spends his days panhandling (he earns $150 a day, he says) and getting completely obliterated on Four Loko and vodka.
And at night? He’s trolling the bars to find a woman that’ll sleep with him so he’ll have a bed and shower.
“I see opportunities, and I capitalize on them,” he said, adding that if he “lays the pipe” well enough he can end up staying at his conquest’s house for a couple of days. That’s enough time for him to wash his “three or four good outfits” and shave before returning to the street. On his off days, he uses the gel and cologne at CVS to freshen up.
At least, this is what Joe says he does. In reality, it’s difficult to believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Is he just feeding us a bunch of bull to be the newest viral web star? Probably… and we’re not the only ones who feel that way.
“I live on 22nd and Park [in Manhattan]. I pass this guy every day and I seriously doubt he’s sleeping with girls three to four days a week because he’s always there when I go home,” one New Yorker wrote on Reddit. “I think he gets paid to clean sweep the sidewalk right where he is posted up because I see him doing that quite often. And he does yell a lot at random people including myself.”
“I see him there every day as well. He has a cell phone, and always has food. People take pity on him… me and my friends have wondered how he gels his hair and always has a clean shave, for being ‘homeless’ so many months,” another Redditor added. “We first started seeing him only a few months ago, I’m guessing he is recently homeless, and his first homeless winter won’t be fun for him. I’ve always gotten such a bad/douchebag vibe from him when I pass him.”
Regardless, he is a d-bag with a cautionary tale.
“Never become like me, ever,” he said. “If you look around you at the f***in’ hundreds of thousands of homeless people in New York City, I’m the only one that can really pull this shit off.”
Keep telling yourself that, Joe.