This dating app lets men bribe you for a date

Mar 24, 2014 at 12:25 p.m. ET

Internet and online dating have taken the whole, "There's an app for that" saying a little too far. There's an online dating site and typically an accompanying matching mobile app for every possible "type." If you're old, religious, just looking to get laid, want to get married — and now, thanks to there is an app for people who can't get a date in the conventional way — through a pleasing appearance and pleasant personality. All you need is the proper bribe.

Carrot Dating app

Photo credit: Carrot Dating

Calling all men of the universe: Please be warned if you purchase something for me that poops all over my carpet, gets up late at night and needs to be fed regularly, I will junk punch you. I am in my 40s with two adult children and was married for 21 years. I've been caring for others my whole life. I'm all about lessening my obligations, not increasing them. This is a little something that overlooked in the, "How To Not Impress Women" handbook.

Giving me something that craps on my floor is actually less offensive than the overall premise of this concept. The very idea that someone with a cellular device and at least $20 in their pocket can buy their way to affection is appalling. Hasn't online dating done enough to rob men of all dating and relationship motivation? "Hey, if I've got to work too hard for this girl, there's a database over here with hundreds of other women that I can bribe."

What is the message behind this site? That no matter how lazy or how much of a tool bag a guy is, if he buys me a nice dinner, I'll look the other way when he eats his scabs at the table and farts in public? Have we become that desperate for a date?

This concept makes me shudder at the thought of what comes next for online dating and mobile dating apps. Are we just a tweak or two away from, "An online app for singles who get off when they pop balloons!" or "Now there's a mobile app for singles who like to make out with their cars?" (Yes, maybe I have been watching too many episodes of My Strange Addiction.

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