Why I compromise in my relationship and that's OK

Feb 18, 2014 at 8:00 a.m. ET

It's not about you anymore — it's about you and your partner. That's why the whole "don't settle for less than you want" in a relationship thing is such BS. Trust me, compromising is what got me a puppy!

Whoever said relationships were hard work was so right...
Woman kissing man

When my boyfriend Kenny told me he wanted to turn our master bedroom into a home office, I won't lie, I kind of mentally freaked out. Our other room (his current office at the time) was so tiny it could barely fit our California King bed and a nightstand in it, much less anything else for that matter. On some level, I almost felt betrayed by his request, like his business came first and our relationship wasn't even a priority. I knew this wasn't the case, of course, but I couldn't help but stew inside my head, envisioning his employees working in the very same place we both used to sleep. Our room, not theirs.

"Take some time to think about it, babe. If you don't want to do it, it's fine. Really, we don't have to," he tried to reassure me. “I just want you to be happy."

"OK fine," I said somewhat reluctantly, all the while thinking to myself, "Hell no! There's no way I'm giving up my big bedroom even if it means I get to pay less rent."

Still, I thought about it over the next couple of weeks, weighing all the pros and cons, because yeah, I love him and want to do what's in his best interest too. Would I genuinely be happy though? I wasn't sure at all, but I was willing to take a chance. Well, that is, on one condition…

"Let's compromise," I proclaimed. “I let you switch the rooms, and we get a puppy." I had been pushing the whole puppy issue for a while now with him not budging an inch. He wasn't ready for the responsibility apparently.

"OK, let's do it," he replied.

I couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. The very next day we switched the rooms though, and a few weeks later we became parents to the most adorable French Bulldog/Boston Terrier puppy ever: Whiskey. And I'm proud to say, Kenny's just as much in love with him as I am and the new room isn't so bad after all.

What I've learned through this entire process is that compromising isn't about sacrificing your needs for the sake of his — it's about sacrificing for the sake of the relationship. And when it all boils down to it, relationships are based on give and take (and trust, of course, too). So yeah, call me crazy or whatever you'd like, but I'd rather sleep in a tiny room than lose the man I love.

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