According to a recent David’s Bridal survey, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are the dynamic duo brides would most want to bag for their bridal party, and who can blame them? They had us at mom jeans.
While I’ve personally never planned a wedding, from what I’ve observed of the ordeal, it’s awfully stressful — I’m getting a rash just thinking about it. But imagine what it’d be like if you had the first ladies of comedy in your corner? Le sigh.
While I apply Benadryl, let’s go over why they’d make the best bridesmaids — like, ever — and find out where to send our invitations (I mean, I have to find a husband first, but that can’t be too hard, right?).
They’d always know exactly what to say
I mean, hello, it’s their job. Seriously, though, once the initial engagement rush wears off, every bride-to-be goes through a period where they can’t help but hyperventilate into a bag (I call this “Monday morning,” but whatever). I guarantee Team Fey-Poehler would be savvy in the ways of making you feel better, minus the cheesy Bridesmaid 101 handbook. At the very least, you’ll be thinking, “Oh em gee, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are watching me hyperventilate into a bag,” which should be distraction enough.
They’d be ready for anything
What wedding wouldn’t be complete without everything going wrong at the last minute? The improv queens would cover for you while you focus on keeping it together. Since they’re naturally fabulous, they’d be well equipped to assist with any dilemma: Mom won’t stop crying? Here, have a Kleenex from my bra. BFF not acting very BFF-y? Here’s a broom closet we can stuff her in. Why do the centerpieces look so… wait, are those weeds? They’d make fun of the florist for you until she cries (and you stop).
They’d hook you up
They’re not called the first ladies for nothing! If they were to plan your bridal shower, you’d score some ah-mazing swag.
They’d keep your family in line
I mean, seriously, they’re not going to act like themselves if there are celebrities in their midst. It’s just common sense.
Best. Bachelorette. Party. Ever
Sure, you ended up dancing like Elaine Benes and you may have accidentally married the bartender, but Team Fey-Poehler would totally hold your hair back afterward (it was their drinking game that got you into this mess, after all).
They’d wear that bridesmaid dress like a boss
Even if you were to dress them like Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne, they’d make the most ridiculous bridesmaid outfit look amazing. (Not that you’d be that stupid — you want them to actually show up, remember?)
They’d rock at toasts
You wouldn’t have to worry about your drunk, easy cousin hogging the microphone and sharing stories from your very naked college days. Clearly, she didn’t get the memo that tequila is evil, and… did she just? Yep, she just made out with the waiter. Nobody touch the crab puffs. Your Fey-Poehler toast, on the other hand, would become a YouTube sensation for the right reasons (unlike that one time in college).
They’d be the perfect diversion
At my wedding, it’d go something like this: “Look! Over there! It’s Tina Fey and Amy Poehler!” You know, just before climbing out the bathroom window in a dress that makes me look like a cream puff. (Mmmm… cream puffs.)