Romantic comedies tell us that first kisses are magical and often accompanied by a string orchestra. The actual results, however, can be far more comical.
First kiss blunders
Put your moves back where they came from
“My boyfriend in college tried to be super suave for our first kiss. We were at a country bar and he and I were dancing. He attempted to dip me and kiss me in the process, but I wasn’t expecting it. We both hit the floor with a thump and one amazing first kiss story.” Marla, age 25.
“I had my first kiss ever when I was 14. My mom dropped us off at a movie theater, and my date put his arm around me during the movie. About halfway through, he went in for the kiss. I was caught off-guard and laughed, at which point his teeth made impact with mine. He mumbled an apology and the next hour of the movie was tense, to say the least.” Elizabeth, age 36.
Well, that was sloppy
“A first kiss in the rain sounds good. Does anyone remember Spiderman? That rain kiss was hot. Anyway, my boyfriend and I tried to recreate a first kiss in the rain, and it’s mostly just sloppy. You can’t tell which liquid is rain and which is drool.” Kathryn, age 26.
“By the time I hit eighth grade, my parents had given up trying to prevent me from having boyfriends. A guy I really liked asked me to go to the movies with him, and my parents agreed, on the premise that they’d drop me off and pick me up from the theater. Of course, we sat in the very back row and quickly got into our first, second, and… millionth kiss. I don’t think I watched a second of the movie. My parents picked me up from the theater and quickly started grilling me on what I had seen. I had heard enough of the movie to answer their questions, but when I got home, I knew why they’d had so many of them — I had giant hickeys all over my neck!” Laura, age 31.
“When I finally got my driver’s license in high school, I figured it was time to use my new freedom for a little more privacy with my boyfriend. We drove to a secluded spot, and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to pounce on him for our first real make out session. Within a minute of kissing him, we heard a knock on the window from a cop, who was making sure nothing crazy was going on. Embarrassing.” Nicole, age 27.
“I awesomely went in for a first kiss with my boyfriend while he was driving us to a restaurant. Smooth, right? Less smooth when he was so surprised that he drove off the road. I mean, you’d think he could have held it together better — it was just a kiss.” Amanda, age 22.
It’s written all over your face
“Pretty quickly after college, I started dating a few guys who were somewhat older than me and had big, full man beards. I liked how much more mature they were than guys my age. One night I came home from a first date (and first kiss!) with an especially scruffy guy, only to have my face turn red and chapped for days due to the beard burn.” Sami, age 29.
“A bold, red lipstick is a great look for an evening out on the town, but it’s not a great look if you’re hoping to get some action. Following a first kiss with my boyfriend, we were both covered in red lipstick smear that was nearly impossible to remove without face wash. It didn’t look so great on either of us as we prepared to head into a concert together.” Becky, age 33.