Your friend shows you a picture of her wedding dress and you hate it. In fact, “hate” isn’t a strong enough word. You loathe it with a fiery passion. Do you tell her you think she’d be better off wearing her flannel duck pajamas? The short answer is no! While some gentle (constructive) advice can be helpful, there are certain things one just should not say to a bride-to-be.
friend faux pas
Here are four things you should never (ever, ever) say to a bride!
I can’t believe you’re inviting him/her
Complaining about who is invited to a friend’s wedding is not only rude but also a tad selfish. After all, it’s her day, not yours. Even if you’re having a nasty feud with the girl who’s going to be sitting at the next table, don’t ruin your friend’s excitement by complaining about her guest list! Chances are she knows you don’t get on with Guest X and will be eternally grateful if you put your feelings aside.
He’ll hate that dress
Trust us — there is no dress on earth that your friend’s husband-to-be will hate her in. She could stroll down the aisle in a potato sack and he’d still think he was the luckiest guy alive. Also, saying he’ll hate her gown is a bit presumptuous, don’t you think? She’ll know what he’ll love, and if she’s happy, then he will be too.
But you have to [insert wedding tradition here]
Don’t tell your friend she has to adhere to wedding traditions like even bridal party numbers or having her dad walk her down the aisle. If your friend isn’t sticking to tradition, there’s probably a good reason for it. So instead of trying to make her day fit with convention, applaud your friend for staying true to herself and daring to be different. There’s no such thing as “have to” when it comes to a bride’s big day.
Oh OK. So that’s the dress you’ve chosen?
The wedding dress is a once-in-a-lifetime decision that calls for oohing and ahhing, not a lack of enthusiasm. Even if you dislike the dress she’s chosen, find something good about it. A simple “that color is going to look so fabulous with you hair,” will mean the world to her. Remember: Her idea of the perfect wedding dress is bound to be different than yours. If she feels beautiful, then that’s all that matters.
So when your bride-to-be buddy is planning her wedding, remember that it’s a stressful time and she’ll be in dire need of your support. Save the criticisms and give her a shoulder to lean on.