Some of us may write off Sweetest Day, which is coming up tomorrow, Oct. 20, as a Hallmark holiday — but if it gives us an excuse to spend more time in bed, we’re all about it!
In celebration of this little (well-celebrated) holiday, we chatted with national sex toy expert Searah Deysach, owner of Early2Bed about how to celebrate — and how to make the most of this day that’s all about fun!
LovingYou: What are some of the top trends in sex toys right now?
Deysach: Softer, kinky items are dominating the marketplace these days and continue to be a hot item. We love the new line of toys called Black Rose (like this Vibrating Panty). The items in the line are silky soft and just a little kinky. The We-Vibe III also continues to dominate the couple’s toy market. It is a truly innovative vibrator that can be worn during intercourse so everyone gets a buzz. It also has a remote control so it can be easily controlled or for the adventurous… worn out under clothes!
LovingYou: How has Fifty Shades of Grey impacted the market?
Deysach: Fifty Shades has brought the topic of bondage and kink into the bedrooms of people in a whole new way. I think it has allowed tons of women (and men too) to acknowledge desires that they may have had but were scared to approach. It has also introduced a whole new way of expressing sexuality to the mainstream. We are seeing a lot more women purchasing kinky items and trying their hand at a little domination and/or submission. At Early to Bed, we are selling a lot more instructional books on S&M as well as goods like blindfolds, restraints and Kegel balls (all of which are mentioned in the book). For a while there was so much demand for Smartballs that they were sold out everywhere and the manufacturer could not keep up!
LovingYou: What are your recommendations for Sweetest Day?
Deysach: Sweetest day is all about making someone feel special, so I think the number one way to celebrate it is to let your loved one know they are special, loved and adored. Communicate your appreciation for them in some simple way, like a silly poem about how hot they are or a small token that is evocative of a special time you shared. If they have a sweet tooth and you want it to get sexy, maybe try a box of their favorite candy wrapped up in something sexy for YOU to wear for them.
LovingYou: What are the top reasons why people are scared to talk about sex toys?
Deysach: I think that people in general are nervous about sharing their feelings about sex, and sex toys still feel very risqué to them. Sharing your desires takes a lot of trust and folks worry that their ideas will seem too racy for their partner. I also think that people worry that their partner may interpret a desire for a sex toy to mean that there is some failing on the partner’s part.
My advice is to bring up the topic in a way that feels non-threatening, that expresses to your partner that you want to try something new for FUN, not because they are failing in some capacity, “Hey honey, I was thinking a vibrator (flavored lube, penis ring, etc.) would be a fun thing to try sometime. What do think?”
LovingYou: What are your top five ways couples can spice up their relationships this fall?
Deysach: Leave a note for them. A pretty little sealed envelope with a single line about what you want to do to them. Sneak it in their pocket, briefcase or leave it on the seat in their car. It gets them thinking about you when [you’re] away and you can sometimes express your desires easier in writing.
It is getting cold, so a warm, sensual massage is a perfect way to start an evening. I’m in love with our chocolate scented Kissable Massage Candle. You burn it for a bit and then pour the not-too-hot oil on your partner for a sexy massage that leaves your skin soft and very, very kissable!
Play a game. If sex is getting too routine, let fate decide what you are going to do and you might find yourself trying new and exciting things. A simple set of Lucky Love Dice can provide you with lots of new combinations that you may not have even thought of before. Or try infusing an old fashioned card game with a twist: loser of each round has to (insert sexy act of your choosing here).
Recount for your love a sexy memory of something the two of you did before, while undressing them button by button.
Watch a sexy movie together while wearing next to nothing and see what happens. Maybe your favorite R-rated flick or one of the newer feature-length adult films that have good story lines, quality acting and steamy sex that is aimed at female viewers. We love the new New Sensations Romance collection, in particular Lost and Found, which is actually adorable and super sexy.