The scenario: You’re out on a fantastic date with the perfect guy and then things start to move fast. Really fast. If you’re one of those girls that leads with her heart instead of her brain, find out how to gain control to ensure you get a second date with him. Well, most likely.
Just to clear things up here, if you want to go all the way on the first date, that’s your right as of 1920. But if you’re trying to have a relationship with the guy, then take things slow. Honesty is the best policy, so tell him you’re really into him and you don’t want to do anything that could get in the way of a potential relationship. After you’re honest with him about this, he may think you’re just covering some third nipple you have or he may really understand and respect you for it. If it’s the latter, then you may have yourself a winner.
Lie, just lie
When things start heating up and you’re about to throw all caution to the wind, get up and start frantically getting your things together. If he’s a person, he’ll wonder what the heck just happened and ask you, “Is everything OK?” which then gives you millions of reasons on why you just flew out from underneath him. If you’re not a great liar or good with detail, then tell him you just remembered you left the garage door open at your house. But if you want to get creative, as I advise you to do just for fun, then tell him you’re a lion tamer in a circus on the weekends and you’re late for training. If he really likes you, he’ll understand and you guys can laugh about it later when you tell him you have a clown phobia. Or he may just not call you.
Pull the p-card
This is probably the most legitimate excuse us girls have. For example:
- Your friend: “Have you gained weight?” You: “I’m on my period, but thanks!”
- Your boyfriend: “You’re being grumpy today.” You: “Leave me alone, I’m on my period!”
- Your brother: “You ate the rest of my spaghetti!” You: “I don’t care, I’m on my period!”
- Your mom: “You’re acting like a total brat.” You: “You wouldn’t understand anymore. I’m on my period!”
- Your lawyer: “All signs point to you killing him.” You: “Sorry, but I was on my period!”
- Your dog: “Ruff, ruff!” You: “Larry, shut up! I’m on my period!”
I mean, really? The excuses can go on and on. If he’s over the age of 22, then he should have gotten over the gross factor by now. If he hasn’t, then say “Just kidding!” and use excuses one or two from above. But if he understands and even gets you some chocolate, then you should probably marry him on the spot.
If you’re a wannabe actress or just really good at crying on the spot, then this excuse will do your life wonders. Usually you hear horror stories about guys crying after sex, but since you’re not planning on sticking around that long, then this is your get-out-of-jail-free card. When things start to heat up, just start crying. Blame it on your credit card debt or on your grandpa’s death that happened 15+ years ago. This is fool-proof and I’ll tell you why. When guys see that first little tear seep out of your red eye, all they want to do is bail. They tend to tense up like a deer in the headlights, which, let’s be honest, is great. The next day, just call and apologize. But that means you can never cry in front of him again.
If you’re a total conceited snob, then this excuse is for you. Regardless if this is true or not, tell him you promised this other guy you would hang out with him. Don’t give any details on what kind of relationship you have with this other gentleman, but emphasize the fact that you already had set plans with this other dude. While you’re in the middle of telling him this, sound breezy and natural like this happens all the time. Even sound a little bored, if it comes naturally. Him knowing that you’re seeing other guys will make him want you just a little more. Guys love a challenge, but girls love one more so play it up, player.