It’s 2 a.m. and you can’t sleep, so you turn on the TV and are sucked into watching countless infomercials on how to make your bust bigger, your buns tighter and so much more. Well, we’ve saved you some TV time and rounded up quirky infomercial products that may or may not make your life easier.
Don’t lie, you know you’ve always wanted to try the Shake Weight — if it weren’t for the suggestive motion your arm makes when using it. Seriously, though, it has shown results. What kind of results, you ask? Well, let’s just say you’re getting your money’s worth. Use it when watching your favorite show, standing in line at the grocery store or watching Channing Tatum shake his own thang in Step Up. Disclaimer: Don’t mind those weird stares you might get — they’re just jealous.
Snuggie… for your dog
We’ve all heard of, and at one point owned, a Snuggie — but what about your furry friends? Don’t they deserve plush, comfy blanket clothing in ridiculous patterns, too? Now you and your pet can take on the town in matching Snuggies! Choose from plaid, leopard and tie-dye patterns that your doggies can sport. Why this wasn’t invented sooner, I don’t know, but I do know that your pet will thank you. (He may thank you with an “accident” on his new leopard coat, but it’s still a thank-you.)
No, this infomercial product is not just for those 5-year-old pageant queens on Toddlers & Tiaras — it can really be a Jessica Simpson-inspired hairstyle booster. Bump-its will lift the crown of your hair without having to tease it. It creates an air of mystery about you, just like Gretchen Weiners (“That’s why her hair’s so big — it’s full of secrets”). The only super-embarrassing-and-grossly-awkward problem you might encounter is if it shows through accidentally. Then people will wonder if you’re secretly a robot or a kleptomaniac who hides items under her huge hair.
Don’t you hate when your seatbelt digs into your skin? Or when it itches your bare chest? Don’t you just hate seatbelts in general? Pffft. Now you can drive comfortably with a Snugglestrap! This furry guy snaps on and gets buried into your bosom for optimal comfort. Just snap it on where you feel the pressure and watch it disappear. Just remember not to make eye contact with any passing cars, otherwise things could get weird.
Forget your rigid office chair! Enter the Hula Chair, your answer to looking like, well, a hula dancer. While you sit, this miracle chair swivels your hips in a hula motion, toning your abdominal and hip muscles. Oh, darn — guess I’ll have to cancel my Pilates membership. Use this while you work feverishly at your computer; you’ll hardly notice your ever-rotating hips. Trust us, your co-workers will be speechless.
Remember when layering was super popular in the mid-2000s during the second season of Laguna Beach? Well, Trendy Top thinks it’s still in, which is fine. Trendy Top lets you layer your look without having to put on an entire tank top, which is always super-frustrating. This infomercial product is like a tube top for the lower part of your torso, covering your lower stomach and your behind. So if your undies tend to stick out, don’t go and buy pants that actually fit — just get a Trendy Top!