How to fall in love with your look

Looking for a way to love your look? If that new dress or paralyzingly beautiful pair of earrings isn’t working, try taking an inside-out approach. Your inner beauty is there.

Woman looking in mirror

If you want to look in the mirror and love what you see, you may have to get out of your own way. Here are three actions you can take that will get you some immediate traction.

Step 1: See it

Change Your P.O.V.

Inner beauty is all about point of view. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve started a fitting with an actor or actress celebrated for their beauty, only to have them launch into, “We have to do something about my _____ and if you can hide my ____ I’ll be forever in your debt.” (Not anyone with whom I currently work, of course!) In most cases, you or I would kill for this person’s ______ or ______.

If you’re in the habit of seeing your reflection and focusing on your perceived flaws, you’re setting up a major roadblock on the journey to expressing your inner beauty and loving your look.

Do this: Define one of your major assets, like great hair, good bust or pretty feet. Now, every time you step in front of the mirror, look at the asset first. Changing your point of view will create a new habit, from deprecation to appreciation. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Step 2: Say it

Do a dialogue rewrite

What do you say about yourself when you look in the mirror? If it’s something negative about your looks then darling, you’ll want to consider changing the script. Everything you say about your look expresses an idea you have about yourself. Changing those ideas for the better starts with interrupting the conversation in your head, the one that’s feeding you lines like, “I’m too ___,” or “My ___ is too ____” or “Why can’t I have a _____ like hers?”

Do this instead: Take the asset from Step One. Now every time you look in the mirror, name it. Say it out loud. You don’t even have to say, “I’ve got pretty feet.” Just say, “Pretty feet!” Here’s the thing: Your word is law. Declare it for yourself. It’s a powerful way to short-circuit the voice that tells you what you’re not.

Step 3: Post it

Be your own press agent

Instead of being your own worst critic, boost your beauty awareness by becoming your biggest fan. Issue a press release on your look.

Do this: Okay, so that asset you’ve been focusing on? Write it out on [at least three] post-it notes and place them where you’ll see them every day. The bathroom mirror and inside the door of the fridge are a good start. When you see the note, read it out loud. If someone hears you exclaiming, “Pretty Feet!” you can always claim to have momentary Tourette Syndrome.

These steps can be daunting at first. I mean, stickers? Really?! What if somebody saw them? Which is what happened. My best girl friend came over and spotted the “Big shoulders!” sticker on the milk carton. She asked me what it was all about. I told her, expecting to be mocked. All she said was, “So, where’s the rest of them?”

The way to make this work the best is not to over think it. In fact, give your inner beauty a break and stop thinking. See, speak and post your way into loving your look.

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