5. Buttery V-Jays
There is a little-known practice found in Ethiopian salons. Women are given a 45-minute massage head to toe, using butter as the massaging medium. Butter is also applied everywhere, from toe to scalp.
Plastic bags are put over the hands and feet, and the guest is given a large chunk of butter to spread over her lady parts. Then she is led to a room with a long row of toilets and smoke holes. The woman sits on the toilet with her legs as far apart as possible, with her hoo-ha positioned over the smoke hole, and three heavy blankets are thrown over her so that no smoke escapes. She’ll sit like that until all of the butter is melted, and she has become a giant steaming yam.
The idea is to tighten up the vaginal muscles post-pregnancy — or perhaps your partner prefers butter on muffin. No word on cost, except some modesty, dignity and several tubs of Blue Bonnet.