There are a lot of thing I would be worried about when buying a vagina-scented candle. Everyone’s vag is different, so what *exactly* are we talking about when we say vagina-scented, for instance? And what will my roomate/spouse/parents/friends think when they ask what kind of candle I have burning on our dining room table and I tell them “it’s actor and lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented.” One thing I would not expect, however, is for the vagina-scented candle to explode and burn my house down, but that’s nearly what happened to a woman in London who lives in the aptly named neighborhood of Kilburn.
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— New York Post (@nypost) January 18, 2021
According to one Jody Thompson, who won the candle online (or was she too embarassed to admit she bought it? We’ll never know), the inferno erupted after lighting the Goop “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle. A 50-centimeter flame (that’s about 19 inches, for those of us not sophisticated enough to be on the metric system) apparently jumped from the candle, which then “exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere,” as Thompson told The Sun.
Thompson says that “The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room.” That’s definitely not what we’re looking for when we light a candle, vagina-scented or otherwise.
Luckily, Thompson and her partner were able to control the flame, and they then took the questionable measure of throwing the candle out their front door. Seems like a logical next step? Nothing bad could possibly happen when throwing the potentially still-smoking remains of an exploding vagina candle out your front door, right? Let’s just hope there weren’t any neighbors out for a stroll when they decided to chuck the vagina-scented embodiment of disappointment out their door.
Relaxing with a nice Goop vagina candle. pic.twitter.com/cjJBUBJ4Ea
— Ironically Bravo (@IronicallyBravo) January 19, 2021
Thankfully, for those of us who simply loved the smell of Paltrow’s “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle too much to quit it, there is a safer option. Goop now sells the scent as a perfume, too.
Just in case you’ve ever sniffed yourself before heading out for the day and thought, “gee, I wish I smelled more like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina today!”.
Before you go, check out these candles that are guaranteed to mask even the toughest scents: