Confession: I have no fewer than 47 pens in or on my desk at this very moment. They’re spilling out of my pen holder, jamming my drawers and threatening to mutiny my desktop at any moment. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
More: 6 ways to be a good person when you shop back-to-school
You see, I’m part of an ever-expanding populus obsessed with pens. There’s just something inherently satisfying about seeing your words come to life from the wellspring of a pen’s ink.
Do I realize this makes me slightly fanatical? Sure. But if you really love pens, there are just certain things you understand. Like…
1. Handwriting looks 1,000 percent better in ballpoint
There’s a reason they call it good pen-manship, people.
2. You’d rather get a big box of pens than a bouquet of flowers any day
Anyone who realizes your love language is pens is a keeper. Write that down.
3. There are no words for the Zen that comes with organizing your pens by color
There’s just something about looking at pens meticulously coded by color that makes you realize all is right with the world.
4. The rush of pleasure and pain you get walking into an office supply store is intense
Pleasure because, well, obviously. Pain because there isn’t a shopping cart big enough for your ambitions in that moment (not to mention the potential hit to your budget).
5. Your idea of “seven minutes in heaven” is leisurely strolling the pen aisle
Point me in the direction of the nearest pen aisle, and I’ll show you my next spontaneous vacay.
6. Back-to-school shopping is your favorite holiday
Any day when you can score pens for 34 cents a pop is a good day and should be memorialized with a national holiday.
7. That feeling when a brand-new pen glides across a clean sheet of paper, though
You imagine it must be how Neil Armstrong felt when he took his first steps on the moon.
8. Errant pen marks are basically like ballpoint freckles in your world
In fact, they’ve become so routine in your life that you honestly can’t even tell which ones are ink and which ones are actual freckles anymore.
9. In the soundtrack of your life, clicking pens would be the chorus
Ah, the sweet (habitual) sound of a clicking pen — music to my ears.
10. You can tell a lot about a person by the type of pen they carry
Some truth-tellers read Tarot cards, others read pens. You say po-tay-to; I say po-taw-to.
11. There is no agony like the agony of when your favorite pen is finito…
12. Until you realize you get to replace it
Sorry ’bout your luck, old trusty, but Mama needs a new set of pens!
Don’t forget to pin this list!
This post was sponsored by BIC.