Skip to main content Skip to header navigation

These could be the worst Facebook status updates of all time

Facebook is a double-edged sword of social media. It’s a great place to (re)connect with friends, share bits of your life and organize events. It can also be a huge time suck, and there is always a status or two that can leave you rolling your eyes super hard.

What Facebook status update is guaranteed to send you into a rage?

Nearly any status from ‘BobAndJane’ will send me into a fit of eye-rolling. Really? You have to share a Facebook account? So, which one of you cheated? Do you not realize that the accounts are free and you can each afford one of your own?” — Lilit Marcus

The Facebook status update that is guaranteed to send me into a rage is anything that includes the hashtag #Blessed and gushes about a perfect husband, perfect children and a stereotypical middle class bullshit life.” — Shaindel Beers

Seeing anyone post #blessed is basically guaranteed to make me wish they were dead. (Unless you are sarcastically mocking the #blessed, please don’t.)” — Jen Selk

More: 2016 has been a crappy year for women, and we’re only 5 months in

Basically any status that calls for women to be one woman and not another one. Be a Princess Diana and not a Kim Kardashian. That kind of thing. I hate it when women are encouraged to be in direct competition with each other.” — Seraphina Ferraro

Nostalgic bullshit about how ‘when we were kids, we…’ fill in the blank with ‘never wore seat belts,’ ‘rode bikes without helmets,’ ‘played outside instead [of] video games…’ blah, blah, blah. No! No, you did not have wild adventures on your bikes. Instead, just like the rest of us, you sat in front of the TV, watching reruns of Leave It to Beaver and The Brady Bunch or playing Nintendo while thousands of children who would be middle aged now instead died or were injured from not having seat belts and helmets. I hate ‘good old days’ nonsense — it’s always distorted by an excess of affect and a deficit of fact.” — Amanda Adams

I have been compiling a list of tired status update/internet popular phrases that annoy me, but the rage these days (and already I cringe to write this) is when feminists blast Hillary. Period. Blast ideas or policies maybe, but please don’t call her out as either anti-feminist or bash her. #imwithher and have been from the start of this campaign (and before).” — Sarah Buttenwieser

More: This may be the jerkiest thing to say to a woman without kids

Those memes that sound romantic at first, and then you read them, and they’re actually normalizing abuse.” — Rowan Beckett Grigsby

A status that really sets me off possesses some sort of oppressive ideology or idea by someone that isn’t expected to say something like that. For instance, I’m friends with previous classmates that are notorious for posting Republican dogma and other garbage. I expected that. However, when an ‘activist’ or ‘feminist’ I admire goes into some unwarranted territory, that’s when I feel obligated to speak up. I don’t want them to keep making the same mistake of potentially isolating or harming friends/family/etc.” — Danielle Corcione

It always begins the same: ‘Tonight I was in line behind someone using food stamps…’ What follows is usually a judgmental rant about how that person is purchasing things they should not be allowed to enjoy and how the person posting the Facebook status works hard and has to pay for ‘lazy’ people. I immediately unfriend these people. I have a hard-and-fast rule against being friends with terrible people.” — Amy Bickers

‘Ugh, why are people complaining about [x]? I don’t see what the big deal is.’ — by some person who has no skin in the game. Must be nice to not have that particular issue affect your day-to-day life! Not everyone has that luxury, and maybe it wouldn’t kill you to drum up some empathy, Person I Wonder Why I’ve Kept on FB. I gotta stop getting in those Facebook fights, though, because no one ever changes, and whole afternoons are lost.” — Sara Habein

More: The 5 most racist arguments on the internet

Leave a Comment