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Why you should write handwritten notes to people you love

Gigi Rodgers

In the days of text messages, emojis, and e-cards, writing a letter by hand seems hopelessly outdated. We have even reached the point where schools are discontinuing the cursive form of handwriting, finding it archaic.

The charm of a handwritten letter is that it is a timeless art form, tangible and real in every way that’s important. No matter what your financial status is, a handwritten letter is priceless. You can’t get that feeling from an emoji. A letter will always offer an experience that modern technology and invisible superhighways cannot touch.

More: The best advice two love experts have for long-term relationships

Instagram is good for boasting about what you had for lunch. Emails may help you with quick and easy business communications, but a handwritten letter will stand as the historical record of your joys, your promises, your frustrations, your praise, your gratitude and acknowledgement of your significant other.

This will be a record they can touch, examine, smile over and save to remember time and time again. The moments you commit to paper stay stored in their memory. You become that guy — or girl. So, that’s what we are going to do. Talk is cheap, but a letter can show someone how much you care.

The project: What is the most uplifting, beautiful thing you can say to someone?


  • Pen (gel tip or felt tip pens are my favorite)
  • Note cards or paper
  • Envelopes (see that “envelopes” is plural. You’ll see why you need more than one in a minute)


  1. Take a small envelope. Label it “Open when…” (Add teaser here. See example teasers in the list below)
  2. Take a note card and write down something special? —? something personal? —? that you love about your special person or your relationship. What is something sexy they do that they don’t know is sexy? What can you say to let them know, “I care — deeply”?
  3. Place the note card inside the envelope and seal it.
  4. Arrange the letters and present them in a clear glass bowl, in a shoe box with a ribbon wrapped around all the letters, or — for bonus points — arranged to look like a bouquet of flowers. Arranged properly, you will have created an actual bouquet of love letters.

More: 4 Easy phrases that will make your spouse feel appreciated

You can write a full-length letter, it can be a quick statement, a photograph, a game or treasure hunt. The options vary. I’ll let you be the judge of that. I know you’re wondering what “teasers” to put on the outside of the envelopes, so here are a few: Open when…

  • You feel like you’re going through it alone
  • You need to know how much you matter to me
  • You need a REAL laugh-out-loud moment
  • It’s raining on your windowpane
  • You think your life is a punch line
  • You need courage
  • You feel like giving up
  • You need a “cherry on top” of your already amazing day
  • You need a promise honored
  • You need an adventure
  • You start to doubt yourself
  • Getting out of bed was the best you could do for the day
  • You’re thinking of me
  • You’re thinking of us
  • You think I’m not paying attention

Of course, feel free to add to this list!

This task of writing the letter will require your undivided attention. Phones off. Laptops closed.

You have no idea how much that letter could influence future smiles, moods of the hour and renewed hope. Your special recipient will never be able to look at an envelope the same again, whether you are in their life or not. They will be saved, cherished and you will be remembered. That is the legacy-leaving power of your letter.

You are now that guy or girl.

More: Why we should all start seizing the moment with our love lives

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