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Carrie Fisher tells body shamers to shove it & more big news

It’s Hump Day, everyone! But with an even shorter shot downhill due to the holiday on Friday, huzzah, huzzah! Pop the Champagne early, but before you do, check out these news headlines.

1. Princess Leia strikes back

Carrie Fisher has responded on Twitter to body shamers commenting on whether she’s as hot as she was 30 years ago. “Please stop debating about whether or not I aged well,” she tweeted. “Unfortunately, it hurts all three of my feelings.” She noted that youth and beauty aren’t “accomplishments” but rather by-products of youth and good genes. Some twits doubled down, claiming that her fame leaves her open to any nasty comments anyone wants to make, but more astute fans pointed out that her male co-stars weren’t facing the same ugly scrutiny. She ended her tweet with a middle-finger emoji. — The Guardian

More: Carrie Fisher was forced to lose weight for new Star Wars movie

2. Waterworld

Floods in Missouri have reached historic levels and are posing a threat to the levees along the Mississippi River. Though the rains, a product of a storm that caused tornadoes and massive flooding in other states, have stopped, Governor Jay Nixon has declared a state of emergency as river levels are rising. The river breached the levee in the town of West Alton, which is situated about 20 miles north of St. Louis. The mayor ordered the town to evacuate; fingers crossed that residents heeded the warnings. — NBC News

3. Mud-slinger

Donald Trump has reassured the media that even though he is dredging up Bill Clinton’s extramarital affairs as ammo against Hillary Clinton, it’s totally legit because his personal life is fair game too. He welcomes anyone who’d like to discuss his own extramarital affair with the woman who later became his second wife to go ahead and throw that dirt. What’s that old saying? Oh yeah: “Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” — CNN

More: Why Hillary Clinton’s clothes matter so much (Hint: They don’t!)

4. Game day horrors

Division I football games are associated with an increase in sexual assault, according to a new paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research. The researchers used “game days” as a proxy for “increased alcohol consumption” and found that, on game days, reports of sexual assault increased by 28 percent among college-age women. The paper hasn’t yet been peer reviewed, but the numbers are certainly, uh, sobering. The researchers hope that their findings will lead to more targeted interventions in the drinking/partying/sports cultures of some college campuses. Gah, we hope so too. — Slate

 5. And then there were 12

George Pataki is ending his campaign for president. This may come as a surprise to those of us who didn’t realize Pataki, the former governor of New York, had started a campaign for president, but nonetheless, he’s out. This narrows the Republican field to Trump, Carson, Cruz, Rubio, oh, yeah, Bush, and … a lot of other people. — The Times-Union

More: 10 Inspirational quotes to ring in the New Year right

6. Double standard

File this under “Why am I not surprised:” The super-ultra-rich have what amounts to totally different tax laws — laws that allow them to avoid paying millions to billions of dollars to Uncle Sam. According to a special investigative report by The New York Times, a few thousand Americans — the hedge fund magnates, the titans of industry — basically have a “private” tax system. They shell out millions to clever lawyers for creative tax avoidance schemes in order to save tens of millions, or more, in taxes. A former IRS official noted that the IRS doesn’t have the resources (financial, intellectual or otherwise) to fight back. And before you get all huffy and partisan: These folks buy politicians in both parties. — The New York Times

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