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Mother Teresa recognized for second miracle & more big news of the day

TGIF. Get a second cup of coffee and wake up slowly while you check out these news headlines.

1. Schadenfreude

Martin Shkreli, the pharmaceuticals CEO who recently made headlines for raising the price of an HIV and cancer drug to $750 a pill from $13.50, was arrested yesterday for securities fraud. Literally no one is upset about this. The sound of popcorn popping and Champagne corks flying echoed throughout the land yesterday as Shkreli was perp-walked in a dirty hoodie from his Manhattan apartment. The “most hated man in America” pleaded not guilty to seven counts and was released on a $5 million bond. Shkreli’s companies have been compared to “shell games” and Ponzi schemes, but the charges aren’t related to his current price-gouging efforts at Turing Pharmaceuticals. The best summary of the day’s events so far? Pharma karma. — New York Magazine

2. Terror neighbor

The neighbor of the San Bernardino attackers has been charged with conspiring to support terrorists. Police say Enrique Marquez supplied Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik with assault rifles they used to kill 14 people in a rampage earlier this month. Marquez reportedly followed the teachings of an extremist cleric, Anwar al-Awlaki, and learned bomb-making techniques from an Al Qaeda magazine. Marquez and Farook had allegedly been discussing radical Islam for some number of years and were familiar with violent Islamist propaganda. While Farook and Malik were murdering Farook’s co-workers, Marquez was at his job as a Walmart security guard. —The New York Times

More: Family’s Christmas card photo shoot enrages the Internet

3. Hipsters fooling hipsters

Mast Brothers’ artisanal chocolate bars, which retail for $10 and are a symbol of Brooklyn hipster food culture, are allegedly basically drugstore candy. A series of posts on penned by Scott (no last name) charges that Mast Brothers not only was not making “bean to bar” chocolate but is accused of remelting mass-produced Valrhona. The company, which is fronted by handsome bearded brothers and offers its chocolate in beautiful wrapping paper, has been an indy-food success story with a reported $28,000 in sales in one weekend alone. Too bad it sounds like it’s the emperor’s new chocolate. — Quartz

4. No peeking

The DNC has penalized the Sanders campaign for exploiting a software data error that allowed a staff member to peek at the Clinton campaign’s voter data. The Sanders campaign’s access to its own voter database is now suspended. This is a major setback for Sanders: The voter database contains valuable information that campaigns use to shape strategy. The Sanders camp reportedly has fired the staffer that looked at Clinton’s data; however, four user accounts from the Sanders campaign searched Clinton’s data during the breach. Call it a firewall fail. — The New York Times

5. Very profitable force

Let’s see, I feel like there was a movie opening this weekend that I wanted to see… what was it? Oh yeah: Star Wars. The latest installation of the franchise, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, took in 50 million dollars last night, handily beating the July 2011 Thursday-night record of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. It’s also set records for advance ticket sales: specifically $100 million of advance ticket sales domestically by last Tuesday. Wowza. The film is showing in more than 4,000 venues today, though something tells me the procrastinators among us are going to be out of luck, for this weekend at least. Oh one last thing: Friends, no spoilers. — Variety

More: 25 Out-of-this-galaxy Star Wars gifts for kids

6. Alone time

Macaulay Culkin, who seems like a pretty good sport, has reprised his Home Alone role of Kevin McCallister — but now Kevin is a grownup and working as a driver for a company not unlike Uber. In this short video by musician Jack Dishel, formerly of the Moldy Peaches, we see Kevin as an adult recovering from a childhood in which he was, you know, forgotten alone at home and set upon by bandits. Spoiler: He’s not the most well-adjusted dude you’ll meet this week. — Slate

More: Women kicked out of homeless shelter for being ‘ungodly’

7. Saintly

Mother Teresa will be canonized next year, as Pope Francis has recognized her second miracle. Mother Teresa was beatified last year — the first step toward sainthood — and her canonization has been expected for some time. The Church requires two miracles for canonization. Both of Mother Teresa’s involved healing: An Indian woman prayed to Mother Teresa and the woman’s incurable brain tumor disappeared; the second was a Brazilian man whose brain abscesses were miraculously cured. Not exactly a good substitute for universal health care, but we’ll take what we can get. — The New York Times

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