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Rapid Reads: 7 Big stories of the day

It’s Wednesday, but we’ll spare you the “hump day” jokes. Instead, check out the CliffsNotes version of your morning news. Here are the top stories everyone will be talking about today:

1. Paul Ryan for House Speaker, maybe

Paul Ryan announced he might accept a nomination for House Speaker, but only if his party stops acting like a bunch of jerks. In a speech, he set forth four major conditions that must be met in order for him to consider the position. The first is the GOP becoming a “proposition party” instead of an “opposition party” (nice, Paul!), followed by updated House rules to make everyone more effective leaders, more unity within the GOP and a personal note that his job as Speaker cannot cut into his family time. No one seems to really want the job — not even Ryan — but if they can adhere to some of his changes and ideas, that’s good news for everyone. — TIME

More: Paul Ryan thinks Jon Stewart is the funniest man in America

2. Tragedy in the line of duty

A New York police officer was shot and killed last night in Harlem. The officer was responding to reports of gunfire when he was struck in the head with a bullet. The suspect was caught several blocks away with a gunshot wound to his leg and will be taken into custody upon release from the hospital. Randolph Holder, the slain officer, is the fourth New York officer shot and killed on the job in the past 11 months. Mayor De Blasio and the head of the NY Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association are calling for community support to end the violence. — USA Today

3. No more of this, please

Police suspect arson after six different black churches in Missouri have burned down in the past 10 days. The fires began last week and have all happened within miles of each other. The only good thing in this story is that no one has been physically injured as a result of the fires. Neighboring churches have offered to help with cleanup and rebuilding efforts. The police investigation is ongoing. — The Guardian

4. New rules

New guidelines from the American Cancer Society have everyone talking. Yesterday, they announced that they’re raising the recommended age for a first mammogram from 40 to 45 and doing away with clinical breast exams, unless there’s a prior abnormality. The move comes after several studies showed mammograms can be harmful for younger women and create too many false positives that lead to “over-treatment.” The guidelines only apply to women with an average risk of cancer and patients may still request mammography sooner. — The New York Times

More: Mammograms may not be the best way to screen for breast cancer

5. Star Wars price gouging

Star Wars: The Force Awakens tickets are on sale, and all hell is breaking loose. Tickets to opening night are completely sold out and now scalpers are on the prowl. They’re selling tickets on eBay for hundreds of dollars, with “buy now” prices well into the thousands. One man even had a four-pack of tickets on sale for $10,000! You’d hope no one in their right mind would pay that kind of money, but people are pretty desperate to be in line for the first showings. Star Wars just might end up paying for some scalpers’ vacations this year. — Vulture

6. This is hilarious

Today is Back to the Future Day for us, but it already happened in Australia and they celebrated in the most hilarious way. Officials in Queensland put out a fake press release about an accident involving a teen driving 88 miles per hour, hitting a pole and causing a power outage that stopped the town’s clock. The fake crash mirrors the scene in Back to the Future II when Doc and Marty go forward in time. The press release said the teen was carrying a license that “expired 30 years ago” and it included doctored photos of a police unit “arriving at the scene” on hover boards. Basically, they’re going to let us finish, but they already had the best Back to the Future Day of all time. — BBC

More: 11 Back To The Future predictions that came true

7. Sad to see him go

Ahmed Mohamed, the boy arrested for bringing a clock to school, is moving to Qatar. The Qatari Foundation has offered to pay for his high school and entire undergraduate education, and his family is expected to leave within a matter of days. They say they chose this opportunity from many different offers because of the Qatari Foundation’s focus on empowering youth. I’m sure we’ll be seeing much more from Mohamed in the future. — Complex

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