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Rapid Reads: 6 Big stories of the day

Full news stories? Ain’t nobody got time for that. We know you’re just here for the highlights and that’s all right with us. Here are the top stories everyone will be talking about today:

1. Bad move

Yesterday, Texas defunded all Planned Parenthood clinics in the state. They cut the nonprofit off from Medicaid funding because of concerns over those doctored videos that claim Planned Parenthood sells fetal tissue (it does not). Texas Governor Greg Abbott said, “Ending the Medicaid participation of Planned Parenthood is another step in providing greater access to safe healthcare for women,” which is absurd because Medicaid funding cannot be used toward abortions, so basically Texas is just preventing women from accessing cancer screenings and birth control. How “safe” of them. — NBC News

More: Indiana gets HIV outbreak after shutting down Planned Parenthood clinics

2. Jim Webb, 2.0

Jim Webb, the candidate in the Democratic debate who kept complaining about not getting to talk, is going to change things up and run as an independent. He’s expected to make the announcement this afternoon at a press conference in Washington, where he promises to discuss “his candidacy, the campaign, and his views of the political party in the current election cycle.” Given that he loves guns, oil, bragging about how he once killed a dude, and he’s currently polling at two percent, do most people care what Jim Webb does? — USA Today

3. O, Canada

Canada has a shiny new parliament. Yesterday Canadian voters ousted Stephen Harper and his conservatives and brought in Justin Trudeau and the liberals. Harper ran the show for almost a decade and disagreed with the U.S. about important things like the Keystone Pipeline. Trudeau should usher in a time of better relations with America, as well as make huge improvements in his own country. Job well done, Canada! — Associated Press

More: Who’s in Hollywood: 20 Canadian celebrities

4. This is my confession

An old man called into a Milwaukee news station and confessed to a murder that took place in 1982. He claims 33 years ago he pushed Carrie Ann Jopek down a flight of stairs and buried her under her porch. Jopek’s body was found in 1983, but the circumstances of her death have remained a mystery ever since. Now they finally have some answers and the caller, Jose Ferreira, has been arrested and charged with murder. — Washington Post

5. You got a permit for that thing?

Yesterday, the U.S. Department of Transportation announced the formation of a task force devoted to registering drones. The move comes after a series of accidents and near-accidents involving recreational drones. So far in 2015, pilots have reported more than 100 instances of unsafe activity by “unmanned aerial vehicles.” Drone sales have increased exponentially in the past few years, so there’s really no choice but to institute some regulations. — CNN

More: Yep, you can hire a drone to be your wedding photographer

6. Oh, brother

Last night commissioners in Greene County, Tennessee, stomped out a proposal to fly the Confederate flag outside county court houses. In fact, the only person who voted in favor of the proposal was Jim Randolph, the guy who came up with it. He said it’s about history, and it “ain’t got anything to do with race.” Luckily, his co-commissioners seem a little bit more “in the know,” and Greene County courthouses won’t be paying homage to a symbol of hate anytime soon. — CBS News

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