Car accidents happen, but the circumstances surrounding this one might just have you shaking your head.
Authorities in Syracuse, Indiana, say a car crashed into a school bus on Friday after its driver pulled a Little Miss Muffet and leaped from her moving vehicle because she saw a spider. Angela Kipp, 35, was backing out of her driveway when she noticed a spider crawling down her shoulder. Frantic, she allegedly jumped out of the car without putting it in park. Even scarier? Her 9-year-old son was sitting in the back seat.
The poor kid tried to take control of the vehicle, but he accidentally hit the gas pedal instead of the brake and ended up crashing directly into a passing school bus. The bus was empty, and the driver was OK, but the 9-year-old was taken to the hospital with minor head injuries. Thankfully he’s in stable condition and is expected to be OK.
We’ve all dealt with surprise attacks from insects in the car and can likely understand this woman’s sense of panic, but giving a 9-year-old an impromptu emergency driving lesson might not be the best course of action. If you’re deathly afraid of bugs and aren’t sure what you would do in this situation, it’s probably best to have a plan. Here are some alternative ways to deal with a spider while you’re driving:
1. Drop an F-bomb (or several) in front of your child to help you de-stress while you figure out what to do.
2. Take the shoe from your non-driving foot, and beat yourself with it.
3. Dump hot coffee down your chest in an attempt to drown the spider.
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4. Strip off all your clothing, and finish the drive naked.
5. Open the window, turn on the air-conditioning full blast, and attempt to blow the spider away.
6. Shimmy strategically to try to decapitate the spider with your seat belt.
7. Find Jesus or the God of your choice, and start praying.
8. Call your mother-in-law, and have her yell at the spider until it runs away to hide.
9. Flag down a passing police officer, and ask him to arrest the spider.
10. Take a selfie with the spider, then upload it to Twitter in the hopes of starting a viral campaign that will lead to the foundation of a Kickstarter campaign to pay for someone to come and remove the spider. (Note: Don’t selfie and drive.)
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11. Ask Siri how to speak Spider so you can ask it to leave in its native language.
12. Cry, and hope the weight of your emotions makes the spider feel uncomfortable enough to leave.
13. Stick your arm out the window, and try to flag down a passing bird to eat the spider.
14. Use the law of attraction to attract a better version of yourself who does not have a spider on their shoulder.
15. Put your car in park, then leap from the vehicle, and commence with your panic attack.