I frequently like to imagine that I possess superpowers, and I have a feeling I’m not alone. The ability to fly, become invisible or move things with my mind all intrigue me. But what about the power to dismantle the patriarchy? Protect reproductive rights faster than a locomotive? Or close the legs of manspreaders with a single glance? You know we had to see what raging feminists would want when it came to powering up.
Today’s question: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
“I would like a superpower that actually exists — the superpower of being likeable enough that when something bad happens to me, people help me rather than blaming me. Oh. That’s feminism! I already have that superpower. I just need to surround myself with the right people.” — Margaret Corvid
“If I could have any superpower, it would be to clean any room simply by looking at it. While this might not seem like a feminist answer, if you think about the time spent cleaning house in an average woman’s week, the ability to shift this time to other, more fruitful activities would make a considerable difference!” — Lynn B. Johnson
“I would love the power to transform willful ignorance to empathy. Or puppies, because, puppies!” — Alex Blank Millard
“Laser vision so I could more quickly and easily sear off the genitals of offensive men, obviously. We raging feminists currently devote so much time to our agenda of emasculation and castration. A bit of laser vision would really cut down on our workload. And I’d personally enjoy the screaming.” — Jen Selk
“I would love to be able to apparate a la Harry Potter. I think I’d leave my apartment a lot more if moving around was quicker and easier. I also love the idea of being able to quickly appear somewhere to pop someone upside the head when they say something terrible on the internet — they wouldn’t know what’s coming to them!” — Wagatwe Wanjuki
“If I could have any superpower at all, I’d choose the ability to instill empathy with the strength of my glare. I could glare at people, and they’d suddenly know, viscerally, how their words and actions affect others. It would be even better if I could glare straight through other media, but I’d settle for a glare that worked in person. So much better than X-ray vision, which only shows the viewer what’s inside something.” — Jennie Worden
“Prehensile teeth! How rad would that be?! No more flossing, you could bite just about anyone who pissed you off and really hang on, no one would ask you to ‘smile’ while walking down the street ever again. Terrifyingly sexy.” — Emily Comeau
“The ability to go back in time and not date approximately 80 percent of the people I’ve dated, who were all basically piles of garbage wearing glasses and a trench coat.” — Lane Moore
“The power to hush mansplainers with just a look. The second a man utters the words ‘Actually…’, I give them a special glare — I imagine it to be similar to Leslie Knope’s pissed-off face — and they would suddenly lose their voice for a to-be-determined period of time. (Maybe forever? Let’s go with forever.) And failing that, flying would be pretty cool, I guess.” — Amy Plitt