If you’ve been through a divorce like I have or if you’re going through one right now, launching a new career path or looking for a new job can ironically feel like dating. Sure, you learn from your past; there are ways to do it well and then there are things you never want to repeat again.
So, when you’re ready to move ahead in all areas of your life post-divorce, career being a big part of it, here are several tips to follow.
1. Appreciate every moment.
If there was a silver lining from the divorce, it had one word: gratitude. I became much more appreciative of things in my life like my job. Even though I’m often ready for the weekend before Wednesday hits, I’m still grateful for what I’ve been given at the end of each and every day. And every time I swipe my card to go into work I say a little thank you to the universe for allowing me to be there. I always try to remember to appreciate it. Even if you are in the middle of a job search or figuring out your next move, say thank you every step of the way for the journey thus far. Be thankful of what you have, not what you want to achieve and be present to the process.
2. Befriend your inner savvy.
Expressing thanks to the universe is a start from the inside out, but you’re going to have to sport some savvy to stay in the game. There’s something self-reliant about post-divorce job searching; we have no choice but to become savvier than our current selves. It’s not chic to say, “I’m not a tech person” or “I hate social media.” Fake it till you make it, girlfriend!
The world is changing at an alarming rate, and if you are looking to stay mentally young and relevant, you are going to have to keep learning. This bodes well for your job search. Instead of having an understanding of social media and technology, take things up a few notches to hone your skills and dig in. Leveraging social media for your job search will take you far, too, by following companies and recruiters. And get out there: Take Apple classes, talk to your kids, your nephew or niece about the newest, latest and greatest apps or website out there and take the time to just learn on your own. It is not enough to know just the basics anymore.
3. Say yes!
Just like technology, there is no choice. Just do it! I have said this a few times before, but you must say yes. This time though, I am not talking about dating, instead I am talking about networking. You never know who you are going to meet along the way. It gets you out of your home and creates an environment for you to be social in a somewhat formal manner. Networking is one of the most important aspects to the job search and the critical piece is asking people you meet who is in their network for you to meet.
The only way you can do this and have meaningful conversations is to say yes. And by saying yes to networking events and attending venues you previously said no to, you are ultimately saying yes to your job search and yourself.
4. Invest in yourself.
It takes money to make money. Seriously. This can be a tough one to digest, I get it. I learned over time this approach truly works. Even investing in the basics to get ahead will propel you forward. I learned this one the hard way; when you skimp in this area and don’t invest in the proper tools and resources necessary for yourself, your career or your corporation to succeed, it can hurt you in the end. You don’t have to have the most expensive of anything, but you do need to be in the game. Opening the wallet is not a bad thing because you’re spending on the most important asset: yourself!
So, if you need a laptop, a tablet, an iPhone, the right clothes, the right look (polished nails, roots done, etc.) or the right car to be better at your job or ace the job search, please invest in project you first. This doesn’t mean you need a high-end designer suit to interview, for example, but if you visit a department store with markdowns or check out a few sites, you can invest in an impressive suit that you will feel like a million bucks in that you didn’t break the bank to own.
5. Remind yourself of your dreams.
And go for them! If you want a new position or a new job, don’t bemoan the fact you don’t have it, write down specific steps to getting it. Then, go after it. Sure, the process may seem arduous at times but it’s part of the deal. Remain focused and persistent; the only way out is through.
Reminders of your dreams will help you say yes to networking events when you just want to stay home on your couch wearing sweats watching Scandal; reminders of the big picture will keep you on point when you have an appointment at the Apple store to navigate your iPad.
The sticky notes on my Mac have been a lifesaver for me. I have tons of them and they are always filled up with my lists, my plans and my dreams. They’ve gotten me through the ups and downs; just seeing the notes are mere reminders of the future I have envisioned for myself, the future that I am self-reliant on to build. Something that once felt daunting is now downright exciting!
Write down your dreams. Visualize them, cherish them, pour attention towards them. And then make them happen.
More from Tamsen Fadal in her new book it The New Single.