Like Disneyland, a garage sale can be the happiest place on earth when you find that treasure you’ve been hunting for. But also like an overpriced family-friendly theme park, garage sales are all about smoke and mirrors — sometimes one man’s trash really is just trash.
Off the top of my head, I can think of at least a dozen really weird things I’ve seen tagged at a garage sale before. A single crutch (why just one?). Used underwear (don’t even get me started). Headless dolls (obviously used to frighten children).
Turns out that my weirdest garage sale experiences weren’t even scratching the surface. The WTF Garage Sale sub-Reddit has uncovered a whole new world of weird. These are the kind of garage sale “finds” you can’t even give away for free.
1. Box of bones
Because skin is so overrated.
2. Dead grandma
Not only do Nana’s remains come in a beautiful urn, but the best part is, she’ll only run you $4.99.
3. Head hammock
For when you have the head of a man but the neck of a baby.
4. Hitler + Obama = BFFs forever
I do understand that there could be an underlying political agenda here, but all I can think is: Damn, I bet Hitler gives good back rubs.
5. Just a really disturbing chair
As the OP pointed out, this inopportunely painted chair brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “sit on my face.”
6. Lifelike baby
This re-sold, Reborn baby doll that looks suspiciously like Beetlejuice can be yours for only $85.
7. Lion penis table
Perfect for people like me who have always wanted to eat dinner atop a lion’s penis.
8. Nicolas Cage, aka Jesus’ real mom
And all this time I thought Jesus’ mother was the Virgin Mary. I feel like such an idiot.
9. ‘N Sync candle
I demand to know why this brilliant product was discontinued. I’m going to take it all the way to the top!
10. Racist key rack
I would love to think there is a back story that could make this all better, but all roads lead to racist.
11. Right to bear arms
Get it? Get it? OK, I would probably buy this for the epic pun alone.
12. Taxidermy trophy conversation starter
What the what the what? The real question you have to ask yourself is: Is this a taxidermied squirrel’s ass or a conversation piece?
13. Totally innocent back massager
You say $4 back massager, I say super-cheap sex toy. Potayto, potahto.
14. The scariest doll in all the land
For those nights when you never want your children to sleep again.