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Please Fire Me: 15 People who’ve had a worse day at work than you

The boss got up on the wrong side of the bed, you’ve run out of coffee and someone has stolen your lunch from the fridge. A bad day at work can put you in the foulest of moods, but if you’re having a bad day in the office, spare a thought for these poor sods who are probably having a worse day than you.

A Tumblr blog has been set up as a place where unhappy employees can go to vent their work life frustrations. Called Please Fire Me, the comical website displays pages and pages of woeful, funny and often just plain horrible stories about why people want to quit their jobs.

From having customers come in wanting to return goods they bought almost a decade ago, to dealing with rude customers and out-of-line bosses, here are 15 people who have probably had a worse day at work than most of us.

1. The person who works at a sex toy call centre:

“Please fire me. I work at a call centre where people order sex toys. The other day I had a woman ask about how one particular vibrator worked. I said I didn’t know. She then asked me to take it into the bathroom and try it out, assuring me she could wait.”

2. The person who had to deal with this wishful-thinking customer:

“Please fire me. A customer came in today and demanded that we refunded her week-old flowers.”

3. The person who had to deal with a group of teenage boys:

“Please fire me. I sell concessions at a movie theatre. No one has been in my line for the past three hours so I sit down for half a second and a group of teenage boys walks up and yells, ‘Break time is over, lady!'”

4. This discriminated-against child-care worker:

“Please fire me. I work as a full-time child-care giver and my client thought it would be funny to refer to me as a girl and introduced me to everyone as a girl. Within that week, everyone in the park (other sitters, parents and even children) thought that I was either gender confused, lesbian or just a girl. It took three months to clear up the misunderstanding.”

5. This nanny:

“Please fire me. I’m a nanny and my employer texted me this morning to ask me to get the kids up because she was too drunk to see.”

6. This employee who was three minutes late to work:

“Please fire me. I take a train to work that only runs once an hour. The timing makes me 3 minutes late every day and my boss expects me to start arriving 57 minutes early instead.”

7. This drug peddler in the office:

“Please fire me. I am sure my next workplace would love to know you wrote me up for giving a man, who was going into anaphylactic shock, some Benadryl. Yep, it says ‘dealing drugs’ in the write up.”

8. This wordsmith:

“Please fire me. I received a write up for ‘using too many big words around customers’. English is my second language.”

9. This unfortunate receptionist:

“Please fire me. I work at an OBGYN’s office and patients call and tell me their crazy medical problems so I can make an appointment for them. One woman called and said she thinks her husband implanted a tracking device in her uterus. Another wanted to be seen because she has cobwebs in her vagina… I’m just the receptionist.”

10. The person who had to deal with this customer:

“Please fire me. I work in retail and we had a customer come in today who wanted to return a handbag that she had bought seven years ago.”

11. Because no-one should be sexually harassed at work:

“Please fire me. Today I was stocking merchandise on the bottom shelf. A customer who was sitting down says to me, ‘That’s where I like you, down on your knees!'”

12. The recipient of this unwanted birthday gift:

“Please fire me. I haven’t been given a shift in four months, but am expected to work on my birthday. All day.”

13. This killer of creative expression:

“Please fire me. I just got yelled at by the parents of one of my students. Apparently, by insisting that he learn correct spelling, I was ‘killing his creativity’.”

14. The person who was left with this unfortunate task:

“Please fire me. I spent the first half of today going from pharmacy to pharmacy in search of a doughnut pillow to relieve my boss’ haemorrhoid pain.”

15. The person who had to deal with this pie-loving customer:

“Please fire me. I had a customer who demanded I give her a refund on a pie that she didn’t like. She ate the whole thing.”

Have you ever had one of those days? Share your “Please Fire Me” stories in the comments section below.

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