Dogs are faithful companions, but they also faithfully eat things that they shouldn’t. We asked canine owners about some of their war stories, and they did not disappoint.
Domestic dogs are supposed to eat a carefully prepared diet provided in reasonable portions by their owners. This doesn’t mean that they will not seek out the worst crap in your house, gobble it down, and either barf it up, poop it out or wind up at the vet. Here are just a few examples of the things our beloved pooches will eat, and the awful things that happen afterwards.
“We used to have a dog who would get a hold of razors in the bathroom,” Katie shares. “Big black lab, so short of locking them up, she would get one from time to time. Venus 5 blade razors! Chewed out one blade at a time until they were all out and then she was done.”
2. The Easter ham
That wasn’t the only tale Katie had to tell. “One Easter our beagle Gertie ate the ham,” she says. “The whole ham. My mom wasn’t home at the time and we didn’t know where she went. We were young but we thought she went to the store to buy a shotgun to shoot the dog.”
3. Contact lenses
“My dog ate a whole box of contact lenses once,” says Erin. “She crapped out whole or nearly whole containers of individual lenses for a while but was seemingly fine.”
Crayons are a popular item for dogs to eat, and the result can be better than most gross eating mishaps. For example, when I was young, my aunt’s dog would eat crayons and her teeth would be super colorful, which was entertaining. Jennifer shares a similar story, but with a more colorful ending. “We cannot leave crayons within reach of either of our dogs!” she says. “For some reason they think they make a great snack. And you can rest assured, their poop ends up a ‘pretty’ rainbow after. Blech.” Erin had a similar experience. “Ooh crayons!” she says. “It was like a unicorn pooped in my yard!”
Your dog definitely shouldn’t eat rocks because it can be super dangerous, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t. “My grandma’s toy poodle are a ton of rocks from their driveway (it was all stones, no pavement),” says Jenni. “It caused a massive obstruction and the dog needed surgery. I think they removed like eight to 10 quarter-sized stones.”
As gross as this sounds, used underwear smells like its owner, which can be attractive to dogs. Some dogs chew holes in them and others canines simply nom them down. “She eats my underwear,” shares Kelly. “And it comes out of her butt like a frozen yogurt swirl, but of poop and underwear.”
Diapers are another common target that can be irresistible to dogs. “You know how those things swell in water?” asks Erin. “My dog crapped out giant piles of swollen diaper goo.” Teresa’s dog did something similar. “I couldn’t understand why my dog was vomiting up jellyfish looking stuff,” she tells me.
Unfortunately, another popular item is poop. Cat poop, dog poop, people poop, their own poop… the list really doesn’t have an end. “One of our dogs went into the the bathroom and ate all of our potty training kid’s poop out of the potty,” shares Star. “We found out a while later that the dog ate it because she puked a huge (and very loose) puke that appeared to all be poop all over the floor.” Vicki says that her dog was even more opportunistic — she would eat her kid’s poop as it rolled out of her butt.
Oil may seem like a good thing to eat at the time, but it rarely ends well for the dog — or his owners. “When my great dane, Dozzer, was about a year and a half, he licked up a bunch of oil used to fry fish while we were camping,” says Nicole. “After we went home, I woke up in the middle of the night to vomit and diarrhea in almost every room in the house. He ended up with pancreatitis, four days at the vet, and an $800 bill.”
I know, gross, right? Unfortunately, this story is true. “Not just any tampon — a used tampon that came out of the trash,” explains Jenna. “Not only was that a disgusting mess to clean up, but a couple days later the dog was not able to pass it and she had a string hanging out of her butt and I had to remove it for her! It was awful.”
11. Rubber bouncy ball
Sometimes, the stories have a happy ending after a scary situation. “Our six-month–old bull terrier puppy ate one of the kids’ super sized rubber bouncy ball,” says Jo. “It resulted in a week stay in the emergency vet and $5,000 in vet bills right before Christmas. He almost died. Punctured leaking intestines, severe dehydration and blocked intestine. I’m so glad he’s okay now!”
12. Your food
Brittany has a stealthy dog who takes advantage of situations he finds himself in. “He’s a great dog but he steals food constantly,” she explains. “He’s eaten dollar bills, five-star restaurant leftovers we had on the table, he ate a whole order of pork fried rice last week. He steals things off the table if I’m distracted by the kids.”
13. A rat carcass
This is just gross. “Diesel brought me a dead rat he’d been chewing on,” shares Melissa. “It was jerky dry and filled with live maggots. FYI, I scream like a girl.”
14. A Frisbee
Some of these stories kind of make sense — the dog is attracted by an odor, whether it’s pleasant or not, and it makes him hungry. Other stories don’t make much sense at all. “My dog ate a neon orange Frisbee,” says Jennifer. “Then he got sick all over the backseat of the car — neon orange plastic shreds. And that same dog also ate my brother-in-law’s back deck.”
Now it’s your turn. What is the worst thing your dog ever ate, and what was the result?