Before you buy something on Amazon, you want to know exactly what you’re getting into. That’s the beauty of the customer review: Someone else will try that avant-garde lipstick for you and give you their honest opinion.
It would be easy to spend hours lost in the worst of the worst Amazon beauty product reviews. While there are a number of highly rated beauty products out there, there are just as many that disappoint.
“Worst” might be in the eye of the beholder, but you can’t deny that these beauty product reviews are really, really bad:
1. Does not smell like a vagina
Disappointment is when you want something to smell like a vagina, and it doesn’t. James says of VULVA Original vaginal scent, “[It] doesn’t smell like vagina, more like stripper.”
2. Made me look older
Disappointment is also when a “Special Non Surgical Facelift Mask with Anti Aging Skin Care Ingredients” makes you look older instead of younger. James S. Maziarz explains, “After four uses, the skin on my cheekbones looked 30 years older! I stopped using it.”
3. OK, except for the gash in my head
How much do you really want that Christie Brinkley ponytail? Enough to bleed your own blood? According to Michelle Barnett, “I am extremely disappointed with this product. The first time I tried to use it, one of the wires that wraps around your ponytail broke and was sticking into my scalp. I suppose I could still use it if I was okay with a gash in my head.” Yikes.
4. Once you break through the crust…
You know it’s going to be a good lip balm when you have to break through the crust to get to the product. Or maybe that’s just crème brûlée. Athena Fitch says, “The consistency was terrible. It had such a hard skin/top layer, I had to wind up breaking through the top crust manually, only to find that under it was sticky, goopy and thick. The taste was not pleasant at all on the lips, and it wouldn’t distribute evenly, so it was a chunky mess. Epic fail.” Luckily, Amazon was kind enough to give this honest gal a refund.
5. Turned me into a lobster
In her eloquent one-star review simply titled “Lobster face,” an anonymous unemployed teacher from Hawaii hopes to turn her experience with a bentonite clay mask into a cautionary tale. Even though she hasn’t used the product in question, she says, “Be careful using bentonite clay — I purchased this same sort of bentonite clay mask (not this product or from amazon.com), and my face and neck turned bright red — I look like a lobster. I have heard it will take a week of treatment to help this go away.”
6. Worst fake eyelashes ever
Inexpensive LTop fake eyelashes tanked with 46 one-star reviews and counting. Anna explains the product’s awfulness, “These are the worst fake eye lashes I ever had. First, they are totally straight, no anatomic curve, looks very funny. Second, these eyelashes are heavy and super rigid. I could use them only for a Halloween party.”
7. Worst hair product ever
Color Oops hair color remover has been deemed the “worst hair product” ever used by Esmee — so terrible, in fact, that she wishes she could leave a zero-star review: “I tried it about a year ago for the first time, and it basically bleached the top of my hair and left a gradient of red from the middle (copper) to the ends (dark brown). I’d be okay if my hair were all one color.”
8. Worst mascara ever
Pricey blinc Mascara Amplified is yet another cosmetic to join the Worst Amazon Products Hall of Fame. Emkubler explains how this beauty product made her life a living hell, “This is by far the worst mascara I have ever purchased. I tried using it for two-and-a-half weeks, and I hated every moment of it!” Daisy Buchanan adds, “The frustrating part was trying to take it off… I have lost most of my lower eyelashes on one eye, and my eyes are irritated.”