Oh, we know you smug parents are just making harmless small talk, but when did chatting about fertility issues or lack of maternal instincts become up for discussion at parties, in supermarkets or while you are getting your hair done?
It starts with “so when are you two going to get married?” As soon as you’re married or over 25, people want to know when you are going to start having kids. Even if you have one kid, they want to know when you are having the next one.
For childless couples by choice or by circumstance, if we had a dollar for every single time smug parents made thoughtless comments about being kid-free, we could end world hunger. The blunt truth is, it’s not really any of your business. While we may not mind occasionally discussing the topic with close friends, random strangers, listen up — it’s annoying. So, next time you’re making small talk, here is a comprehensive list of things you shouldn’t say to couples without kids.
1. You are not a real family until you have kids.
My #childfree life! Love it! pic.twitter.com/AT2seWhE7g
— ChildfreeMe (@ChildfreeMe) April 16, 2014
2. Tired? You don’t know the meaning of tired until you have kids.
Good morning all. Beautiful day. A perfect nights sleep for me! #Childless pic.twitter.com/CfCumenOLm
— Writer Within (@writersinnow) March 16, 2014
3. Who is going to look after you in your old age?
4. You’re so lucky, we can’t afford to go on a proper vacation with three kids.
5. We didn’t invite you to the party because we know you don’t like kids.
6. We only invited our friends who have kids.
7. I feel sorry for you not having kids.
I feel sorry for people without kids. It's like, what do you do with all that free time, extra money, and quiet?
Pfft, good luck with that!
— Greg (@cerebralbeef) June 11, 2011
8. You’re not getting any younger.
9. Why don’t you want kids?
My husband just texted me this #childfree pic.twitter.com/hpdAmzroGx
— 𝚔𝚛𝚒𝚡 (@krix) September 25, 2013
10. How can you deprive your husband of the joy of having children?
11. So you’re replacing kids with animals instead?
12. Don’t you want more meaning out of life?
U mean there's more to life than eating? … Sleeping hey… @alexblack1974 pic.twitter.com/sJPjW9zsYJ
— Manisha Black (@Manishablack) December 12, 2013
13. What if everyone else had your attitude to having children?
14. There are some things only a mother understands.
15. Material things don’t matter when you have kids.
16. You will get pregnant as soon as you relax and just forget about trying.
17. It must be lovely to do what you want whenever you want.
Had a great time with my wife on a long layover in #ATL! #datingmywife #marriedforlife #nokids pic.twitter.com/lvU4W2oC13
— Matthew P Melville (@missionsnfamily) June 1, 2014
18. You’ll regret not having children when you are older.
— Grainne McCann (@Grainne_McCann) May 24, 2014
19. It must be so lonely not having kids.
— Lola Parrish (@LolaParrish) June 12, 2014
20. Only selfish people don’t want to have children.
Sometimes #selfish is healthiest thing to do. #honourwhatyouneed pic.twitter.com/kEWx7C6Ijr
— Cate Moore (@CateUnstuckCo) February 7, 2014
21. You’re not a real woman until you’ve given birth naturally without drugs.
22. You don’t realise what it is to love until you’ve had a child.
They say you don't know what true love is until you've had a child… but I've lost my iphone before, so I think I have an idea.
— Annie™🖤 (@annielkozak) December 23, 2013
23. What is wrong with you?
24. You don’t know the meaning of hard work until you’ve had kids.
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