Whether we’re asking for a raise or getting more of what we like in the bedroom, getting what we want can be as simple as asking for it.
What are the areas in our lives that need improvement? Perhaps it’s within our professional lives?
Whatever the case, here are some simple strategies to help you get what you want.
Change comes down to how we think and we first need to be aware of our thoughts and what we think about ourselves and our lives.
“If you focus your attention for a moment on the role that thinking is playing in your life, you may come to recognize that, in fact, everything you do, or want, or feel is influenced by your thinking,” Dr. Linda Elder and Dr. Richard Paul explain in their essay Learning the Art of Critical Thinking.
Is your internal dialogue telling you you’re not good enough to get what you want? That you’ll never achieve what you set out to?
Or, is it telling you that you are worthy of all life has to offer?
Thinking gets you what you want, it allows you to create and manifest that life you’ve always wanted, whatever that is. Get creative, too; think outside the box and don’t think anything is too big or too out of reach.
If you want it and you’re willing to put in the work, it’s possible. We just don’t realise that it starts with our thought processes.
“Most people have no notion of what it means to take charge of their lives. They don’t realize that the quality of their lives depends on the quality of their thinking,” Dr. Elder and Dr. Paul continue.
“As a manager, leader, employee, citizen, lover, friend, parent — in every realm and situation of your life — good thinking pays off.”
Making personal happiness easy: Personal mantras are the key to the new you >>
Take time to really think about what you want in terms of relationships, health, spiritual growth and your professional life in order to make them happen.
“The problem is — no one teaches us anything at all about how to think. No one mentions that we actually have to take the time to train our minds so that we are thinking thoughts that are vaguely useful in our lives,” life coach from Simple Life Strategies, Zoe B, says.
“And so instead, we amble on aimlessly listening to thoughts that contribute to our ultimate demise and, before we know it, we are stuck in a comfortable job doing something uninspiring that we don’t really love and we’re dragging ourselves out of bed to live a life that’s completely second rate.”
Positivity is key
If you’re having trouble changing your thought patterns, write some positive sentences, or affirmations, down and repeat them to yourself.
After reading them aloud to yourself, repeatedly, they’ll eventually become a thought process that you continue to have naturally.
Creator of PositivelyPresent, Dani Dipirro says being positive is a habit we can all create.
“When I find myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to find the good, to be positive regardless of what’s happening around me,” she says.
“I no longer point fingers and place blame. I realize that everything happens how it happens, and it’s up to me to choose how I want to feel about it. I am in control of my attitude, and no one can take that away from me.”
If you are constantly thinking that you are not good enough, take time to reflect on it.
Where is that thought coming from? Has someone said that to you before? Do you think someone believes that about you? Find out who that opinion belongs to and set yourself free of it.
Once you know what you want, and now that you’ve accepted that you’re worthy of it, it’s time to start visualising what you want.
What does it look like?
How does it feel?
Now is a great time to create a vision board made up of images that represent what you want in your life. These images could relate to anything from home and family life, to your professional career and health.
Cut images out of magazines or print them out from your computer, making sure you use pictures which represent what you want to see in your future. This could mean images of fit and healthy people, loving couples, families with children, welcoming homes, the office you’ve always dreamed of, businesses and people you admire, places you’d like to visit — the list is endless.
Boost your self-esteem: Do you love yourself? >>
Now is the time to talk and be accountable for what you want.
“When we talk about what we want, we’re ultimately talking about creating certain situations, events or relationships in our lives that will make us feel good,” Zoe B says.
“Only once you have a clear representation of what you want to create in your mind, can you then go about putting in place the action steps required to make it happen in the real world.”
By sharing and telling those around us what we want, we’re ultimately opening ourselves up to change.
Physically create it
After we’ve thought about it, visualised it, verbalised it and stayed positive throughout it all, it’s time to take action and make it happen.
What does it take to make these goals a reality? Who do we have to talk to to make things happen? Do we have to organise a meeting with the boss to talk about our position within the company? Or organise a savings account so we can buy that new car or go on that holiday?
Start putting in the work so you can see the benefits come closer.
Make an action plan full of people you need to talk to, things you need to organise and ways in which the things you want will become a reality.
What to avoid when asking for what you want
- Assuming things will not go to plan — this will just become frustrating and may lead you to feelings of helplessness and even giving up.
- Focusing on what you don’t want — like attracts like, so if you’re verbalising and thinking about what you don’t want, you’re actually attracting that into your life.
- Expecting things to go wrong — if you think things will go wrong and expect yourself to fail, then you’re just giving yourself a reason to.
Have you asked for what you want in life and made your dreams a reality? We want to hear all about it. Let us know!