Dating in your 30s is a whole new ballgame. With your biological clock ticking, all of a sudden dating isn’t as fun and casual anymore. Many women forget that they’re wiser, smarter and sexier, and go into panic mode instead. Here’s how to stay cool and avoid scaring anyone away.
How to chill out
while you’re dating
The types of men to go for
Start searching for a partner who shares the same beliefs and values that you do. Of course, opposites attract, but compatibility is vital to making a relationship work. When you hit your 30s, you’ve had enough life experience to really know who you are and what you stand for. Find someone who is in the same ballpark.
Ditch the boys
By the time they reach their 30s, most women have gotten those fun flings out of their system and are ready for someone who’s ready for the same things they are. So, ditch the 20-somethings and go for men in their 30s — like you, they’re more likely to know what they want in a relationship and from life.
How to date
Get out there
As they say, you’ve got to be in it to win it. The key to successfully dating in your 30s is to get out there and meet people. Now, we’re not going to sugar coat this: Finding dates can be tricky. The pool has shrunk, with many of your peers in long-term relationships or marriages. The key is to be adventurous and take advantage of every opportunity to meet men. Ask your loved-up friends to introduce you to their single mates, or sign up for online or speed dating.
Infatuation is the domain of teenagers and 20-somethings; in your 30s, independence while dating is priceless. In other words, you don’t need to spend every waking moment with your partner. It’s great to keep a little mystery in the relationship, so give yourself the chance to miss your man every once in a while. Men love their independence, and if you give it to them, they are much more likely to come crawling back.
Ready to find love online? Check out our online dating tips >>
Don’t sweat the small stuff
When you’re dating in your 30s, you learn that some things just aren’t worth fighting about. And that’s a great lesson — one of the biggest mistakes women make is putting way too much pressure on themselves and their relationships. Try to relax and if something upsets you, take a step back and get some perspective on the issue. If it’s worth bringing up to your date, do so; if it’s not, let it go.
What’s at the forefront of most women’s (and many men’s) minds when they’re dating in their 30s? Kids. Either you have them, want them, or don’t want them: Whatever your position is on the pitter-patter of tiny feet, be honest from the get-go. If you and your partner agree on this subject, your relationship has long-term potential. If you don’t, it may be time to reevaluate or move on.
If you’re keen to start a new chapter in your life, shake things up a bit! Sign up for a new class, try an activity that’s out of your comfort zone, or find a new social circle. Then, move on to dating someone who isn’t your “type” and accepting the odd blind date (set up by trustworthy friends, of course).
Know when to let go
Sometimes, things just don’t work out. If your relationship isn’t working and you really, really don’t think it’s going to improve — or that it’s not worth improving — let the guy go. It sounds harsh, but the fact is, it’s pointless to waste your time on someone who’s not worth it.
What not to do
Don’t date to marry
Dating is about getting to know someone. Unfortunately, scores of women panic when they reach the big 3-0, and dates turn into interviews for potential husbands. This is by far the most common mistake women make. Forget the timelines and your ticking clock — it’s perfectly fine to want marriage and kids, just don’t go on a date with desperation seeping from your pores.
Don’t give up easily
It’s annoying but true: Patience is a virtue. If your dating life isn’t going as expected, or your man isn’t “getting a move on”, it can be tempting to give up. It’s important to give people a chance. If, after a few months, your relationship is really not heading in the direction you were hoping for, then it’s time to sit down and reassess.
Don’t put dating last
In their 30s, the average woman is jugging a career, a social life and family commitments. We all live fast-paced lives that are governed by huge to-do lists — and “sort out love life” is usually never at the top. The fact is, if you’re set on finding “Mr Right”, you need to make dating a priority.
The golden rule? Don’t settle for less than you deserve!
Forget getting married and having kids — the most important outcome of dating is finding the right person to be with. Try not to scare off any potential partners with your impatience and definitely don’t settle for Mr Right Now. You deserve much better than that.