Before you book that next vacation, here’s a list of people that you should never allow to sit next to you on a plane ever again.
1. Your mom
Six hours trapped in a seat next to the woman who wants to nitpick every life decision you’ve ever made. What could possibly be wrong with that? The answer: everything.
2. Your BFF
Hey, we all love our BFFs, but there is such a thing as too much time with someone who knows every dirty little secret about you. Remember that time in college when you did that thing you don’t want to talk about? If you fly with your BFF, chances are you’re going to have to talk about it.
3. Your husband
He’s the love of your life, but he’s also the guy who can make you nuts with all those little habits that were adorable when you started dating but are now annoying. Maybe he snores when he naps or hums when he reads or talks to himself while watching a movie. Whatever the habit is, trust us when we say it will drive you bonkers after an eight-hour flight.
4. Your kids
They brought joy to your life the moment they were born, but your children will become spawns of Satan the moment they step foot on a plane. They’ll ignore the entire box of toys you carefully packed to keep them happy and whine that you forgot the only one they wanted. They’ll refuse any food offered by the flight attendants and demand only those things that are impossible to get on a plane. Consider yourself warned.
5. Your siblings
It doesn’t matter if you need to travel with the entire family for a family reunion — avoid flying with your siblings at all costs. Think that all those petty fights are over now that you’re all adults? Think again. All it takes is a few hours cooped up together, and soon you’ll be fighting over which one Mom loves most.
6. Your grandmother
Granny is such a sweet lady, what could possibly go wrong on a plane? Plenty. If you haven’t already produced grandchildren, you can be sure to hear about that. If you have provided the requisite grandkids, then talk will likely turn to every other relative in the family and why each one of them is a disappointment. Not even earbuds will keep you safe as she’ll just pretend she doesn’t see them anyway.
7. Your boyfriend
Ah, that first romantic trip together. You and your man have been dating long enough that you’ve decided your relationship is ready for the next step, and you plan a week for two at some tropical oasis. The only trouble is that you’ll find at least one thing to argue about on the plane. It could be as simple as where you want to go for dinner on your first night, but the long plane ride will turn it into something much bigger than it actually is. Save your relationship: Take separate flights.